"WOO 1355500! NICE CLEAN NUMBER"

Random NG fan.

NO: 31: Exclusive Pico Day Special

LETTER FROM THE EDITOR

Hello @everyone and everyone at. Pico Day's coming soon, this is a very special day. This means I need all of you to be on your best behavior today. @TomFulp's gonna be watching every single movie, playing every single game, listening to every single song, looking at every single artwork, and of course, reading every single newspost, especially this one, and we do not need any more crazy shenanigans. Got that?

OK, until that day comes, do not publish this piece until May 6th. I repeat, hold it off until May 6th!

Darnell, who according to LinkedIn, left Tankman Triweekly 2 weeks ago

TOP STORY:

"Is there anything Pico hasn't done?" Asks Mario, the Plumber, Sportsman, and Former Carpenter.

Image credit: Punch Out! (Nintendo) + Pico's Unloaded (@MindChamber)

Local plumber Mario Mario has been a huge fan of Newgrounds culture for a long time and regularly consumes Flash content like Rise of the Mushroom Kingdom and Super Mario 63. Last Saturday, he's got a lot of questions about their most iconic character, Pico.

"This Pico guy.", the 42 year old plumber said as he scrolls through past Pico Day submissions. "Everyone knows him as the high school student who stopped a school shooting, fight fire with fire, all that. But what else has he also done?"

"From what I've found, he has his own fighting crossover, he's an avid gambler, a cereal mascot, he plays DDR, he plays basketball, he's a snowboarder, he teaches you how to use a keyboard, Like literally, is there anything Pico hasn't done?"

"Did he join the Army? Sell guns on TV? The list goes on! Wait, I know what he isn't. A doctor! Good luck getting through medical school with all that long unsorted shit on your resume."

Mario finishes his conversation as he go-karts off a giant pinball table while eating golden mushrooms.

Hello, I'm Nicholas Dick, world renowned internet detective, and this is my show DICK NICK! It is my job to uncover all the weirdest, craziest, unsolvable mysteries from ye olden days of the Internet and hopefully uncover their truths once and for all!

Today, we're gonna find out what caused the closure of the General forum right here on Newgrounds.

CASE 1: Who Killed General BBS

WHAT HAPPENED: On March 22nd, Tom Fulp announced that both the General and Politics would be closed down.

They're still viewable, but all threads have been locked and no new threads can be created.

Tom says "these forums aren’t in line with the goals for the site and we don’t have the resources to handle the problems these forums create.", but there may be an ulterior motive.

However, I'm too busy trying to figure out if @thanknog and @Nogfish are the same person, so while I'm on that adventure, I'm assigning this task to my two associates, Larry Ball and Roger Ball.

EXHIBIT 1: Our Findings:

LARRY: I found this post four days prior to the closure, Chris, aka @DrunkGecko made a post calling out moderator @Malachy, who banned a user called "Seth" for "Using multiple alts to be a pest on the forums"

ROGER: And how exactly does this relate to the forums closing?

LARRY: He argues that those accounts belong to another user "Zeiwolf" who shares the same IP, but I found no such accounts that exist on here. This probably caused them to delete their account and stir up enough drama to force Tom to take action.

ROGER: Who are we talking about here? Which "Seth" are we talking about here? Seth Green? Seth Rogen? Seth MacFarlane? I suspect none of these accounts are real. That GEICO guy's more reliable than this idiot. This is a dude who posts Sonic fanfics and disgusting sex jokes "on purpose". He's not exactly a credible source. I say we should follow the REAL evidence. If this "Mal" guy is such a shitty moderator, why hasn't Tom removed him?

LARRY: I found this thread. Near the end of page 1 @TurkeyOnAStick suggests that this was just some crazy extreme conspiracy blown way out of proportion. It's messes like this that strain the poor moderators every single day and I'm glad both of them are gone because now they only have to lock 5 threads a day instead of 7.

ROGER: He had evidence that Malachy was being corrupt. Just last month he banned me for 3 days over a thread about peanuts. They could've done the right thing and kicked him off the mod team. Maybe we can just talk this rationally with Tom and he can FINALLY bring some justice.

LARRY: So NOW you're agreeing with the Gecko man? I think we should call Nick right now because it's clear I can't take it anymore!

NICK: LARRY! ROGER!! What the fuck is all this mess? Do you know how hard it is to reorganize this cork-board?!

LARRY: I dunno. I just want to go home.

ROGER: We finally figured it out. It's all one big conspiracy theory. Tom, and a handful of mods such as Malachy and Turkey, are all in to spread the narrative that Newgrounds, a site that got its start with edgy flash cartoons about school shootings and killing celebrities, is "the best site ever made where nothing can go wrong", a utopian paradise fully funded by users like you and me, a site, truly "everything by everyone".

Unfortunately, though they have come close, it's not good enough. Incidents such as those caused by Sirtom93, 321, Mist, and so on, are an inevitable part of the internet and a dime a dozen on other platforms, and especially today with all this "cancel culture" becoming so ingrained in society. As a result, they decided to go more and more woke over the years, and this has impacted their decision-making. When Malachy falsely banned a guy for alt-related crimes, in addition to his innocent roommate, and DrunkGecko blew the whistle, they decided to not just lock threads discussing it, but outright delete them, before going "fuck it" and closed off the entire forum so that they don't have to deal with it, rather than uphold free speech and take accountability for one mod's actions.

You could argue that they wanted it closed years before, but couldn't until now, but just because General's gone, that doesn't mean they can't still be corrupt. It just makes it much easier for them to cover up their own wrongdoings and get more people to agree with their leftist beliefs and policies.

NICK: Noted.

CONCLUSION:

Case discarded: Never hire a pair of nuts to do a dick's job.

JOHN CAPTAIN: You can say that again.

FEATURED ARTIST:

Today's featured artist is @RoAnimations, who makes both great art and animations, and recently has been getting into pixel art. That's an easy win. Follow him here (and only here) if you like Team Fortress 2, Pizza Tower, or Mario spinoffs.

OTHER WORKS:

Other News:

News of the past, present, and future.

Jan 26th: This one Newgrounds users' father's brother's nephew's cousin's former roommate released a game inspired by an underrated Nintendo platformer. Maybe you've heard of it. Maybe you've seen some fan-art on the front page or have seen the intro re-animated over a dozen times. Who knows? Maybe there'll be a sequel.

April 18th: Studies have shown that earwax is more revolting than furry porn.

April 23rd: @W-P-S, aka Waldemar Schuur, notable animator and filmmaker who created Anusboy and Savage Death Valley, has just finished his most stressful task to date... renovating his kitchen.

April 27th: A prototype of Portal Defenders: Fast Break just leaked where all the voice lines are replaced by explicit versions. Yes that is @VoicesbyCorey you're hearing.

April 28th: Episode 2 of Monkey Wrench just came ou..

NEVER MIND THAT: A 2004 thread about klay just got bumped.

May 2nd: Valve to take legal action against @Emrox's Artifacts, citing a trademark dispute

May 5th: A recent survey shows that out of 600 artists, animators, and forum regulars, 414 of them said they had one of their kidneys removed. One was reportedly told to "spread teh <3"

Tankman Triweekly is brought to you by the Undelete Hotline. Preventing account deletions since 2008.

All it takes is 1 call or less.

PHONE: 555 1905 2008

[< PREVIOUS ISSUE | > NEXT ISSUE | ALL ISSUES | FOLLOW ANONYMOUS-FROG]

NO: 30: Update-Sized Holiday Special

LETTER FROM THE EDITOR

Today's issue has been long overdue. A lot has happened since the last one. The forums are under renovation, Pico Day's creeping closer, a bunch of users have come and gone, the Audio Portal's 20th anniversary has been celebrated, and we've been late to the party for a long time, until someone remotely talented managed to walk into our office and got hired on the spot.

@Little-Rena

TOP STORY: TIME TRAVELLER GOES BACK IN TIME TO SUBMIT TO 5 SHADES OF BLUE COLLAB

Once this baby reaches 500° Fahrenheit, you're gonna see some serious tomfoolery.

PHILADELPHIA -- This just in, prolific Flash animator Dr. Nelson Teal has just submitted a collab part for the 5 Shades of Blue Collab

Teal, who joined Newgrounds in 1999 as OT, traveled back in time to March 16th 2005, 11:40 PM EST, using a remote-controlled gas-top stove and oven-themed time machine, in order to submit an animation he's been working on for 5 months. He has brought with him a copy of Macromedia Flash MX 2004 and 16 GB of RAM.

"I was very impressed with what Teal managed to bring to the table!" said @mynamewontfitin, organizer of the 5 Shades collab.

"A bald old bearded farmer cooks up some sort of magic powder to make his turnips grow, then one of them grows to the size of his three-story comically large mansion. He can't pull out himself, so he calls up his wife, his two children, his children's spouses, his 3 grandsons and 2 granddaughters, and the family cat, who all fail to pull the turnip out. Only after a funny looking mouse starts pulling on one of the granddaughter's shoes does the turnip break free.

THEN the turnip rolls down the hill, onto the street, over some cars, then in the ocean.

Plot twist: One of the boys managed to tunnel his way into the turnip and is now stranded on the ocean alongside a gang of human-sized insects, worms and other bugs.

Not only did the story get my attention, but his line-art is incredibly clean compared to the other parts by myself, Zekey, Xionic Demon, etc, he picked some good songs, AND he managed to cram it all in 95 seconds! Chef's kiss! Best thing I ever watched. Instant 5 stars!"

mynamewontfitin

|

Teal's previous works include the Flash game Cuphead (2005), a Metal-Slug-esque platformer that later inspired the Fancy Pants series. He was also a clean-up artist for the Eddsworld short Suction Cup Man (2008), and created the short film Spooky Month (2004) for Clock Day.

Tankman Triweekly presents: a new series...

THEME SONG:

Hello, I'm Nicholas Dick, world renowned internet detective, and this is my show DICK NICK! It is my job to uncover all the weirdest, craziest, unsolvable mysteries from ye olden days of the Internet and hopefully uncover their truths once and for all!

Today's case is all about teh g0d of teh pr0tal Piconjo, who after 18 years is definitely full of secrets worth uncovering. Let's get into it!

CASE 1: @LegendaryFrog and @Piconjo.

CLAIM: Piconjo allegedly helped LegendaryFrog and worked on a couple of Flash movies together, circa 2002-2003. However, Piconjo wasn't credited properly (presumably due to the multi-author system not existing or requiring a "buddy system") and the flashes became smash hits, and as a result, Piconjo created an entire movement dedicated to "pwning" LF as revenge.

This was what was listed in the Newgrounds Wiki so it must be true. If so, then between the three of us we're all dicks in one way or another. But then again, we need people like me to analyze the FACTS.

EXHIBIT 1: Legendof Zelda LF Tribute

This is probably the biggest piece of evidence that supports this claim. This is a flash movie created in March 2004 by user @SmashMaster, who may or may not be Piconjo himself.

In 2021, Piconjo reviewed the submission saying there's an easter egg at the end that proves Piconjo's involvement, ie. a text in the Matrix scene that says: "OMG MAYTRIKS RIPOFF!". Quite a subtle Easter egg, but it's not the only one.

If you download and decompile the Flash file, LoZSEv2.swf, you will find this lovely image in frame 4.

WARNING: NSFW

This proves Piconjo made this movie, but how does it prove his involvement with LegendaryFrog?

Obvious answer is that the style is exactly similar. If he can animate Link and the boys and replicate LegendaryFrog's style so well, then surely he'd be the one to start the ball rolling in the first place.

Enter The Return of Ganondorf, posted Jun 20, 2003, which shares very similar character rigs.

There are some slight changes, some of the colors are a tad different, very noticeable on Zelda, but otherwise they appear to be replicated very well. Maybe traced, but that's just some WILD speculation. I would never suggest that!

Do keep in mind that the multi-author system was discussed in December 2002 and implemented in April 2003, long before The Return of Ganondorf, so it isn't likely that Piconjo was involved in this specific movie.

EXHIBIT 2: The Invisible Ink in the Thumbnails

I discovered a dirty little secret. You see, Piconjo secretly imprinted his name into the thumbnails! Here's how to find them.

1) Right click the thumbnail and select "Copy Image"

2) Load it up into Photoshop or some other software

3) Crank up the contrast or click the fill tool on whatever blank space free real estate. He's written his name where no one will find them.

Here's the one in All Your Pie:

However, what we also discovered is that there exists a Thumbnail Crew that was established in 2020, so maybe these thumbnails were added later by Piconjo himself (or one of his disciples)

EXHIBIT 3: LF himself denies this.

Aug 23, 2004: LegendaryFrog himself posted this beautiful gem,

"Everyone should know by now that whatever comes out of that guys mouth is a total lie. Its sad that everyone so far on this topic believes it."

Joseph "LegendaryFrog" Blanchette

Keep in mind that LegandaryFrog himself allegedly covered up Piconjo's involvement, so should you really trust him with this crazy over-the-top conspiracy theory that Piconjo's fabricated this whole story for personal gain?

EXHIBIT 4: The 10 Second Showcase

Piconjo collaborator @T0MMY hosted this collaborative megaproject in August 2004, where a large amount of participants (which include both Piconjo and LegendaryFrog) create a 10 second animation.

The author comments state:

"This is the first (and to date) only time that Piconjo and LegendaryFrog ever worked on a single project together officially!"

This should debunk everything, but KEEP IN MIND... the word "officially". Also keep in mind that they both worked separately on individual parts. Also also keep in mind that this is one of those large-scale collabs where anyone with decent animation skills can submit a part. If this counts as "official", then who decides that their previous alleged involvement (before this allegedly), then what else does?

CONCLUSION:

Anyhow, from what I've found, there seems to be no decent evidence to support Piconjo's direct involvement in any of LF's movies. There were also plenty of claims that LegendaryFrog got other people to animate his movies for him, including Chris Boe, who would later join LF as part of Toonwerks, and The-Super-Flash-Bros, but at least he was more open about it.

Boe helped with the Alien vs Predator review

Super Flash Brother Dim helped with this Final Fantasy cartoon

The only other explanation would be that Piconjo was originally known as something else before becoming Piconjo, possibly an early Piconjer who wasn't even a Newgrounds user at the time. I'll follow this up once I gather more information or either of the two parties speaks up.

CASE 2: Piconjo Worked at Pixar

CLAIM: Piconjo had an internship at Pixar circa 2003-2005,

This may have stemmed from one of his Confessions, but as for actual proof, I could not find any evidence or information about this online. I've heard somewhere he was able to hide some obscure easter egg in The Incredibles

If he did work on any Pixar movies, he wouldn't be credited as Piconjo, he'd use his "real" name, which we do not know.

I could comb through every single animator and artist who worked on that movie and try to narrow it down in order to find the man behind teh p3n0r, but honestly that's a lot of work for a single detective.

Do keep in mind these two factors:

1. An internship is a low-level form of job typically used to gain experience in an industry (like animation, but it can also include any job). For all we know, his involvement could be limited to just serving his boss some coffee.
2. Pixar primarily does 3D animation, whereas Piconjo's output is almost entirely 2D. He could've easily backed up this claim by posting some 3D work onto any website, including Newgrounds, such as a portfolio or showreel, which would add a little bit of validity to his claim. However, this would normally be impossible on NG in 2004, since vector-based SWF files, but Battle for the Portal (2003) got around this by rendering a video and embedding a low-quality version of it inside the SWF, and Swift 3D's definitely a thing nobody's even tried to use over here, right?

CONCLUSION: Very unlikely, but this could've been before his rise to g0dhood he had 2day, so who knows? We all start somewhere.

And that concludes this episode of Dick Nick. Until next time, where I'll be figuring out what ACTUALLY happened to NG's beloved icon, Anusboy, and what caused his disappearance.

Other News:

News of the past, present, and future.

2009

Feb 26th: ZekeySpaceyLizard told @TheInterviewer that he'd like the BBS to be deleted because it's a toxic hellhole

"delete it.

there is seriously no fixing it at this point. half the laughable moderation staff only sign on like once a month. the other half are people who brown-nosed the staff and now just do the whole "HEY I'LL BAN A BUNCH OF PEOPLE AND WRITE A REALLY RUDE POST HAHAHAHA I AM SO EDGY EPIC" thing, while a slew of 10 year olds make 40 new naruto topics. the amount of stupid kids and even stupider kids trying to troll the stupid kids is massive. and then we finally get a new forum, the art forum, and its slowly ruined by people posting stolen art, people who fly off the handle when someone accuses someone else of stealing art, and people who cant do art at all posting their own crap in all the other threads.

the bbs is a tumor.

but of course, dont point the flaws out or you get banned!"

Source: The Interviewer No. 3

2014

Nov 26th: In another interview 5 years later, Zekey was asked again about his thoughts on deleting the BBS.

Pay attention: This will be important later on.

"I wouldn't know. I visit Newgrounds only maybe once a year, usually only if a friend links me to something there. For all I know maybe the BBS has grown into a nice mature forum where people discuss philosophy and animation techniques. But I really fucking doubt that. If I'm wrong, and by some miracle it's actually good now, then I must give major kudos to the moderation staff for remolding that cesspool. But again, I wouldn't really know. Were the spirit to seize me and make me visit Newgrounds willingly, the last place I'd be interested in clicking is the BBS, since that is not where the content of games and cartoons are kept and thus there's little reason to really go there!"

Source: The Interviewer No. 132

2023

Jan 12th: @Royal-Harmonica successfully stole the secret Krabby Patty formula from the classic version of @Anonymous-Frog and applies it to a Street Fighter parody.

Feb 13th: The Audio Portal turns 20 today, with its first song "Chilled 1".

Feb 20th: "Classic" @Anonymous-Frog comes out of retirement to participate in an Eddsworld fan collab.

Feb 28th: The Flash Flood is now over. You can still submit Flash for the still ongoing Flash Forward Jam.

March 2nd: The Washington Post is recalling every single newspaper with Dilbert in them and is now reprinting them with @hcnone's Endless Monday in its place.

March 4th: Royal-Harmonica achieves what Classic Anonymous Frog never did, win a Daily award.

March 10th: Mario Day. Weird that we didn't get many Mario movies today. Thought we'd be packed!

March 12-14th-ish: BBS spammer HTFLumpy has finally been shut down.

March 18th: The 1,000th song on Newgrounds celebrates its 20th anniversary. It's old enough to watch Bluey.

March 22nd: The BBS has grown into a nice mature forum where people discuss philosophy and animation techniques, and by some miracle it's actually good now. Kudos to the moderation staff for remolding that cesspool!

March 31st: As the timeline starts shifting, Bridge Kids fades out of existence.

April 20th: Flash Forward Jam pushed back by another 10 minutes to accommodate for just one more lazy-ass dev who can't be bothered to finish on time.

June 2nd: Street Fighter 6 set to release. A fan poll reveals that Ryu is more beloved than Solid Snake. Keep in mind that this poll was originally posted in a 5 star review on Metal Gear Awesome.

Tankman Triweekly is a part of the Red Sea, the other part being The Tank Tribune

(C) 2021-2023

[PREVIOUS ISSUE | NEXT ISSUE | FOLLOW ANONYMOUS-FROG]

Thanks to all Patreon supporters:

thelord, Prime-Adam, forEVEr, Applesnek36, the-virgin-mary, CuckedJoseph, Sun-Noah-Tzu, Moses

Remember to follow this account to never miss a new issue.

NO: 29: Dream BBQ, Flash Flood, 2023 Treasure Hunt, Picayune Dreams, and More!

LETTER FROM THE EDITORS

Good weather innit! Definitely forecasted another Tankman Triweekly issue today. Today we're covering Picayune Dreams, a couple of oldies, but goodies, and of course, to raise awareness to our annual Flash Flood event.

Download Flash and get flooding!

@Little-Rena.

Here at Tankman Triweekly, we're going to be comparing our Paily Dicks (Daily 2nd) with that day's Daily Pick (Daily Feature, or 1st)

DAY 1

To start the week off, we have two which uses characters from the Mario series. The first Paily Dick goes to @BERALAI's movie Geno: The Star Road Warrior. An incredibly well-made features famous voice actor @TomaMoto

For comparison, @PringusMcDingus's movie quaso got 1st, Also looks great, but it's on the short end of the stick.

Also won Review Crew Pick and Weekly 4th.

DAY 2

This PD goes to @SAMI-OURS for their movie Sami Moments. A 3D experimentational short for a series that already kinda looks 3D.

And at #1, @ChrisShwafer's put the hurt on him

DAY 3??

PD goes to @zipzip and his movie... Wait, we're not falling for this a 2nd time. We already covered that one in the previous issue.

What we DIDN'T cover is @AngryBinary's game at #1: Tor: Smashmaster Level 1. A difficult, yet short beat-em-up that's still fun to play, but THOSE DINOS.

SCHMUCK OF THE DAY: @Archetypes: "Bumper!"

DAY 3 (REAL)

@PixelHeadAche, @Lenmmo, @lydiummusic, and @VoidDdraig wins Daily 2nd for their OFF fanmade mockupinator PURIFICATION TIME.

@ratchili decided to switch from hot sauce to latte with their movie CAFFEINE RAT, which got #1 today.

DAY 4

Paily Dick goes to @Aygeex for their Undertale-themed movie Innocent one (CENSORED VERSION) | Aygeex (ie. Frisk has big tits and there's a ton of fighting), implying an uncensored version exists somewhere. Yesterday, porn got #5 on the charts, so take everything I say with a grain of salt.

Meanwhile at #1, @Wazzaldorp washed that taste out of my mouth with A Tale of Three Cops: An OneyPlays Animated.

Shoutout to @FunPix's Chicken Man - VOL.1 - Kickstarter, on Kickstarter. Although the voiceover kinda sucks, the comic itself is still promising. Back it if you are a fan of chickens, men, and comics.

DAY 5

@HelperWesley gets the PD for his game Spent Shells. Anyone can create a game based on The Binding of Isaac, but create a 9 volume devlog and post it on YouTube over the course of 7 months and it suddenly becomes a banger.

He learned a lot during its development and you can too!

And at number one, @GlitchArtTV did Karaoke night (madcom).

DAY 6

@JabaToons got Daily 2nd for his movie Rick and Morty without Justin Roiland. You really aren't missing much, as Roiland only wrote 5 episodes and mainly did voices, but I'm sure they can find a suitable non-AI replacement.

#1 goes to @MilesJohn and his movie Alien Mischief.

DAY 7

The final Paily Dick of the week goes to @brewstew for his barely moving movie 90s TV - Double Dare.

1st place goes to @Ditchu for their movie DELTARUNE x GTA 4 Loading Screen [Pixel Animation], essentially a hyperpolished and well-edited slideshow.

SPOILER: Toby does NOT have a NG account. Not that we publicly know of.

For some actual content, you're going to have to scroll down to #4 with @TheWeebl's movie Lightforce, based on the Commodore 64 game of the same name.

Because this is Flash Flood season, these challenged have been offered to members of the Clock Crew. Enjoy the ride!

Remember to tag #flashflood2023 when making your movies.

@Little-Rena / @DVa-Clock

Figure out what "Ease In" and "Ease Out" means.

REWARD: 6,000 TP

@FLOUNDERMANCLOCK

Do an ollie on top of a 7-Eleven, then a 1080 over the cashier. Kickflip, then grind over the 10 cop cars parked right in front of you, do a backflip, write a second season of Velma, then jack Komboocha and repeat the whole process in said vehicle. All while wearing two pairs of Octopus's stolen shoes. Side quests are optional.

REWARD: 10,000,000 TP

@BeepBoxClock

Compose a cover of Superman by Goldfinger with synths.

REWARD: 4,000 TP

LIVE: Newgrounds 2023 Treasure Hunt

It's only been half a week into the hunt and already and there's been tons of progress being made. Before I move on to my highlights, I want to touch up on two things.

First, there's NSFW content. That means Not Safe For Work. Initially there wasn't any rules prohibiting NSFW content from being entered, and we did see a small handful of entries here and there, but not much that really breaks the spirit of the hunt.

There are two big problems with NSFW content here,

1) Very few of them have been frontpaged or won an award, which can make any submission here eligible,

2) They already have a bucketload of views to begin with, so it can be extremely difficult to find an entry in this category that's not only good, but received very little attention.

These highlights selected by @Catoblepas come into question. Click with caution.

Credit to @OrganizedApeShape and @lostSWFfiles2003 for the entries.

@The-Great-One

(ORIGINALLY ASKED FEB 4th 2023)

Second: Flash submissions from 2013 onward are very likely to be running in ActionScript 3, which is mostly incompatible in Ruffle. Keep that in mind.

Highlight: Madness Cancelled by @Horsenwelles for the now-defunct Soup Squad.

The "Somewhere in Nevada", on account of the glow not working, required some tinkering in order to play. Otherwise the main part of the animation worked perfectly.

Third: It is implied that you should actually hunt for your submissions, not pick out the first thing you ever reviewed (or second if that got FP'd or an award, and so on). You are encouraged to sort through thousands of old movies, select the best ones within their criteria, then carefully curate the best two for a shot at some money for you and the author.

Some other tips that I recommend:

1. Ensure your entry has less than 1,000 views. Those are the ones that likely deserve more.
2. Don't just pick from 2022 or 2021. Select entries from 2014 and so on if you have to, those are the best years.
3. Actually watch/play/listen/look at each submission and make your own judgements, rather than solely relying on others' feedback.

Fourth: The prizes. Originally the prize was just $50 for both the participant and the creator, but after some more sponsors it jumped up to $187. With that kind of money, wouldn't you consider adding runner-up prizes?

Now for the highlights:

My picks | Original post

Credit to @FreeWillRevolution and @ScaredyDave for the movies, @MartinTale and @53xy83457 for the games, @dullsworth for the audio, and @Griffinflash and @Familypants for the art.

Other Highlights (i wish i had submitted these)

I also enjoyed this (suggested by @goldenPiGames and featured during the Hunt)

I wanted to keep my focus on older submissions, but this SKETCHED episode animated by @jthrash went past my head. I don't know if anyone else had submitted it, but it's eligible and I wish I had entered it, sorry @sirjeffofshort.

This song by @RedMongoose would also be a worthy contender, though as of today it's rated A, which might muddy things. Doesn't sound very NSFW and would otherwise pass as an M-rated song.

FEB 12 UPDATE: RedM changed it to M after the writing of this issue.

I also think this Transcendent Homer looks weirdly cool too!

"Legitimate" Submissions that Miss the Point

@SourJovis suggested Super Mario Father? by @Ant0on. Though it only received 500 views here, on YouTube it has 330K views. Not as much as his Defbed videos, but not really lesser known by our standards.

@James1888 suggested this heavily underrated gem, Moika Neon Dance, from this tiny little nobody called @moikaloop.

@Lt-Abdelhak suggested two @Waterflame songs.

Oh boogles, I stepped on a bear trap. That's all I have for today. Make sure you follow the 2023 Treasure Hunt thread for more information and submissions. Do also check out @SplatterDash's Swashbuckler's Log for more highlights.

FLASH PORTAL HISTORY

It's another video game parody. These always get tons of views, and what other way than to celebrate Skittles N Bitz?

Remember @MajinPiccolo? He was a big deal in the sprite movie scene, throughout 2005, where he created hit after hit after hit, sprite movies with hundreds of thousands of views each. He even got to collaborate with the late Edd Gould a couple of times.

In July 8th 2005, the first episode of Skittles N' Bitz was released. Nine episodes, a Halloween special, and a "Best Of" compilation later, he called it quits, closing down his website in 2007 and completely falling off the face of the planet in 2008, realizing he was just another LegendaryFrog-type situation.

"TO THE PEOPLE WHO IDOLIZE ME FOR MY FORMERLY EXPOSED FLASH CARTOON MAKING "TALENTS":

MY VIDEOS ARE NOT FUNNY. I REALIZE THAT NOW. DON'T BE LIKE I ONCE WAS.

GO OUTSIDE! WIN AT LIFE!"

Matt (Not Matt from Eddsworld) "MajinPiccolo" Andrade

Then there's Skittles N Shitz, also in 2005. This is a collaboration between four other equally popular sprite animators and cartoon animators that poked fun at the former series, which was heavily criticized for its weak humor and below average animation, even for sprite movie standards.

@D-Sun, creator of Power Star, Mario-Combat, and Armed with Wings.

@Wonchop, a "proper" animator would later work with Weebl, TomSka, and mashed. Oh and this Among Us music video.

@Blordow, who switched to original content not long after, making hits such as Throwverwatch and Salty Swamp - Sac Village.

and @Yoshi-1up, who continued to create sprite movies until 2016.

Another Skittles N Bitz parody, Skittles N' Dickz, by @Emanhattan, @ThePigeonMaster, and @UltraMoron released in 2008.

Nostalgia isn't always what it looks like on the surface.

Other News

The latest news, past, present and future.

Feb 7: @Tritnew has a Discord server.

Feb 8: Turns out that #8 that Picayune Dreams got was sideways.

See also: "POPE SAYS THIS GAME IS 'BETTER THAN UNDERTALE'"

Feb 9: Massive YouTuber Dream is hosting a barbeque from 9:00 PM to 11:00 PM EST. Don't miss out!

"Beebobapooveevbeebepszzeevw"

Boyfriend

"I really hope Big Hoss shows up"

@heyopc

"No right handed forks?"

@Seth

"This Needs More Scanty Daemon AUTTP And Less Infighting!"

@HTFLumpy

Margo from HANDS UP! refused to comment.

Feb 12: UP FOR REVIEW: Brand new Game Show from Tankman Triweekly!

We're offering one free Art commission to the first person who can answer in the comments, the vote score that this movie received, based solely off of this review.

HINT: It's one that we've covered on Tankman Triweekly.

Reviewer: @Ericho

Score: 6/10

"Okay, that was pretty good for a punchline. I still wasn't that entertained by this. The animation was just sub-par. I thought the aliens would be defeated easily. They actually were pretty powerful. At least it wasn't too long.

I thought the skeleton would move on its own. I guess it can't without muscles. I could at least follow it. It was just too simplistic. Well, the majority of opinions matter more!"

Feb 28: Flash Flood 2023 Deadline

Mar 1: National Fatsack Awareness Month.

Mar 24: Cake Collab Deadline:

It's an art collab, on a real 2 meter diameter cake.

Guidelines:

• Must show up in person in Philadelphia to participate.
• Five sessions that last from 7:30 PM to 11:30 PM EDT
• Don't hog up the whole cake.
• Icing must be @FDA approved.

Mar 25: Surprise Birthday Party

Mar 27: "Fill my Deadline Extension Quota" Deadline.

Tankman Triweekly needs V-bucks to survive.

(C) 2021-2023

[PREVIOUS ISSUE | NEXT ISSUE | FOLLOW ANONYMOUS-FROG]

NO: 28: Thursday Spam

LETTER FROM THE EDITORS

Missed the TT? Because I definitely did. I spent the last 26 days of this 2023 giving the Triweekly a facelift. Redesigned it yet again. Fresh and new baby, for the 5th and not final time!

The sole Team Fortress 2 developer.

Here at Tankman Triweekly, we celebrate all the wonderful entries that got Daily 2nd because it'll increase our chances of finding something actually good. (them 5 second GIF loops get way too much attention)

We start the week off with @picrossin and @Gidzillo, who won Daily 2nd for their game Barvest: The Iconic Bug Harvest of 2005, the PS1-esque spider simulator must-play of 2023. #BARVESTSWEEP!!!

@Demonbloodpal shows off his OC Mey transforming and brings home a Daily 2nd with Mey transformation ✨

, a significant improvement from his last submission, a 1 second loop without sound. No wait, NG newcomer @HeyPelusa animated it. Go give them a warm welcome.

@WizardoFrank wins a Daily 2nd for their film Night of the Raveyard, a short spooky stop motion student film that's well worth checking out.

@adriendittrick wins a Daily 2nd for his game The Wizard Ran: Chapter 6. Check out the first 5 chapters beforehand.

@beeftacho, @Qubitive and @LATLSHAT win Daily 2nd for their movie KARATE.

@PFINNEY wins Daily 2nd for his movie grass, the latest and greatest in photorealism.

And to close the week off, @SQUiNKTV won Daily 2nd for their movie Doctor Spiderpus. An excellent 3D Spooderman (Spiderman's already taken.)

That's just for last week. This week starts off with @drluigi3760 winning Daily 2nd for his SNK parody Fatal Injury.

Funny enough, the Newgrounds name originated in 1991 when Tom Fulp created a Neo Geo fanzine called "New Ground", a fact that shall forever be repeated whenever any SNK content shows up here.

@Delfrig wins Daily 2nd for his movie 1, a continuation of his Alphabet series, this time introducing numbers.

Guess what else will be number 2.

@zipzip wins Daily 2nd for their movie Justin's Compilation. Seriously @P-Bot? Someone had to have necrobumped this.

And finally, @Peti wins Daily 2nd for their game Maple's Maid Service. Featuring art from @Bleak-Creep and @P-PAMda and music from @Dieswyx, @Quarl, @Levc. @Dry, and @ConnorGrail

UPDATE: @FLOUNDERMANCLOCK is our newest Paily Dick, winning 2nd place for his movie Rocks. Another Clock Crew W.

We have offered 4 worthy adversaries their most daring challenges to date. Should thou accept, thou shalt be forever honored.

@LeviRamirez:

Port Mewgenics to the NES.

REWARD: 10,000 TP

@HTFLumpy

Write a single sentence where only the first word is capitalized (excluding names and titles)

REWARD: 500 TP

@NoobClock666

Merge the physical and digital realms together in a single animation.

REWARD: 5,000 TP

@ZabuJard

Give pixel art a try

REWARD: 1 frontpage from Fulp

Top 12 Name Changes of 2022

For this one-off special, we decide honor the NG creators and users who have changed their usernames from 2022 to today.

Sick of your old name? You too can change it once every 30 days like these folks have, by becoming a Supporter today.

@Graeme changed from Noodle in late 2022

Phobotech is now @Galneda

ayekerik is now @pollyanoid

The creator of Boxcar City Rush, @GENCE went through 2 name changes. First GENCER, then radioGENC, then GENCE

@Frosty also had two changes, from FrosstyArt to FrostyArt, then to Frosty.

@Crae was originally CraeYT, with YT meaning YouTube.

@Gray was originally GrayNG, with NG meaning Newgrounds.

SevenSeize is still @DrSevenSeizeMD

NoobJew666 became @NoobClock666 in May 2022

@DrunkGecko temporarily changed his username to FarmerGecko.

@CrockettDK had at least 6 documented name changes, from these names, then back to CrockettDK. Those being

RefurbishedCrockett (circa Jan 2022)

NewgroundsRanger (circa June 2022)

Scott-The-Woz (circa October 2022)

Special mention for Olskoo aka @orbitz, the king of name changes. I can only remember what names he hadn't gone by.

What was your reason for changing your username?

FLASH PORTAL HISTORY

Today's Flash Portal History is yet another Mario cartoon. Legend of Miyamoto was the most popular submission submitted by Luis Logam, aka @Awkward-Squid, with over 1 million views, hitting the Triple Crown, and having its thumbnail used as the "Mario" Collection's icon. Unfortunately it was removed for using the Fatboy Slim song "Gangsta Trippin" in 2015.

But the story doesn't end there. In 2022, Legend of Miyamoto mysteriously reappeared on the Portal with a different song. Two newer NG users took it upon themselves to decompile the Flash file and add the new song in and even replace the hand-drawn text in the credits.

Legend of Miyamoto also received a "sequel" in 2009.

Other News

The latest news, past, present and future.

Jan 12: FNF co-creator @ninjamuffin99 is charged with graffitiing the office walls with M&Ms and is thus kicked out of the FNF development team, with this statement on Kickstarter:

"We have cut all ties with Cameron Taylor, aka ninjamuffin99

Development of Friday Night Funkin' will still continue

We will get to it as soon as we get those chocolate stains off our walls"

The Funkin' Crew.

Jan 16: A new Ruffle update just dropped, courtesy of the man who flipped your Minecraft cows upside down, aka Minecraft developer Dinnerbone. It supports WebGPU (whatever that is) and blend modes, which should increase the amount of pre-2013 Flash content supported from 90% to 92%.

Jan 19: "Weird Al" released a new music video for his 1999 classic Your Horoscope For Today. Animated by Augenblick Studios, fans are already making comparisons between this and the fan video Zekey made in 2006.

"The "official" video was just released and it urged me to come looking for this one. I haven't laid my eyes upon this iteration in over a decade at least. Truthfully, I still prefer it. It's snappy, fun, and matches the song well.

The official video is... well, very Gen Z friendly. Harmless, marshmallowy, cute, Youtube advertiser appropriate, and entirely forgettable. This one here, however, has stuck with me ever since I first saw it in 2006."

@CookieSkoon

Jan 25: @sirjeffofshort releases a new episode of SKETCHED, animated by @jthrash

Jeff accidentally posts an earlier episode in his announcement post. Don't believe us? We have the receipts.

Jan 26: @ThatJohnnyGuy and @VoicesByCorey launch the Audio Portal 20th Anniversary Collab.

Sorry @Wandaboy, no Wandaboys allowed, however they did let Wandaboy Joe Cleetus McBill Jr. in, so they can have one.

Notorious Batman villain Mr. Freeze is nominated NG Supporter of the Year for his heroic deed.

Jan 27: @OrganisedApeShape's Robot Pi Kickstarter ends with just over a day left to go and only $400 backed. This is your last chance.

Check out his other works here.

"I'll fund the damn thing myself out of pocket if this fails"

Cleetus McBill Sr.

Jan 28: @BoyPorcelain is set to delete his movie KEY-MAN! Teaser 1 in 2 days (also an honorable Paily Dick), the moment he releases the full movie. Archive it with the Wayback Machine and download while you still can!

EDIT: As of February 3rd 2023, the teaser is still up.

EDIT 2: AND IT'S GONE!

Mar 26: Flash Forward is (yet again) unable to decide on a stable deadline and thus has been pushed back to 2024.

Tankman Triweekly is 512 pixels short of a full PNG.

(C) 2021-2023

[PREVIOUS ISSUE | NEXT ISSUE | FOLLOW ANONYMOUS-FROG ]

"Username LITERALLY checked out."

@Anonymous-Frog

LETTER FROM THE EDITOR

Hello again Newgrounds, here's another update. Tankman Triweekly will return in January 2022, and this time it will be a guarantee.

In the mean time, we're just filling in @The-Great-One's shift as editor for @TheTankTribune as he deals with at least three separate personal issues, those being COVID, memory issues, and his dad's recovery from surgery.

TT Staff, sans Anonymous-Frog

THEME SONG BY @sorohanro

FEATURED COMPOSERS

@LexRodent, @Yayday-4evr, @Kawanimat, @vermeen, @JustikShow, @Theepicosity, @DragonicBladex, [deleted], @DarkHorseOrchestra, @Jokyles, @orbitron408, @Tritnew, @rajbeatsofficial, @SNACCJACC, @KTilted, @50Steaks, @Bosa, @Seth, @Seth, @Seth, @Dav64 @sorohanro

Get a haircut, trash cans!

No Luddites allowed! @MindChamber announced the winners of Robot Day 2022, which took place on November 26th. To view the rest of the awesome entries, search each Portal with the tag robotday2022

$400,000 To Deliver a Drawing Tablet in 12 Seconds

The NG community donated $1,250 USD to pay for this year's annual drawing tablet giveaway, despite ongoing protests by dedicated mouse users. @Sabtastic is also helping out to send tablets to Canadian recipients.

Current winners include @Ahkihoun, @alyxandr, and @dandyjack.

NG Exploit: Infinite Art Zoom

The Art Portal received the first brand new update since 2017. You can now set submissions as comics and you can now zoom in to art pieces bigger than your own screen. However, if your submission is smaller than your screen, you can incorrectly mark it as Pixel Art to allow extra zooming.

Ninjamuffin99 Misses the Point of His Own Game Jam

Taking a break from FNF @ninjamuffin99 hosted a 3 Star Game Jam from November 26th to 28th. However, his game『さかさま MOOD』 completely missed the whole point, which was to get as close to 3 stars as possible. As of December 4th it sits at 4.02/5 and won Daily 4th.

UPDATE: (Dec-17-2022) Score increased to 4.06.

ART COMMISSIONS OPEN RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA*

@mock2 is open for commissions on Fiverr, going from $5 to $15 and he doesn't have to go through 5 different revisions.

* Not representative of the actual number of A's in "RAAAA".

We start the week off with @TheChalkeaters winning their first Daily Feature for Furrýmon: Gotta Smash ’Em All! (Animated MV) — The Chalkeaters feat. Black Gryph0n and PiNKII The self-proclaimed "video game-themed overproduced sh*tpost music team" started out on YouTube in 2019 and have joined Newgrounds very recently.

Hits such as COUNT TO THREE, which featured the voice of GLaDOS herself, have over 10 million views.

@Potatoman and @Cryptospore won a Daily Feature for their short Gym Confrontation. A skilled 2.5D artist best known for drawing the Dankmen, Potatoman is usually never seen in over a minute these days.

@NIKOYOART wins her first Daily Feature for the movie The Big Kahuna- Short Film. This is also voice actors @Mikeysota and @Shiftybred's 3rd Daily Feature as well.

@Maplestar-NSFW wins their first Daily feature for their movie Makima gives Denji a reward!

How in the almighty King of the Portal StrawberryClock did that get in here?

WARNING: NSFW: https://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/865451

UPDATE: Here's the 2nd place winner instead, from @Hosogm.

@jonathan and his team won a Daily Feature for their movie RATBASTERDS: UNDERGROUND, a 1 and 1/2 year long passion project that's worth a watch and full of dumb humor (the kind where the characters are dumb, not the creators).

The team also consists of animators @AmazinLarry, @DeadlyComics, @Emrox, @Ghost-Bat, @JacquesTheron, @moonslothart, @Nihaho, @Peekaywalsh, @Shufflehound, @Speedo, @sveekins, @thecooldrawingguy, @ThePrimatePunk, and @Urbs, artists @Brewster, @MikeCarf, and @paperisfood, voice actors @Gianni, @InexpensiveJew, and @nevarky, and writer @Pjorg. I'm not going into detail how many other Daily Features they all won, that's 100% unnecessary.

@BrandyBuizel wins a Daily Feature for Tankmas ADVENTure 2022. It's an official NG advent calendar that started in 2018, and thus needs no introduction.

And to close off the week, @SPANGLESNG wins his 2nd Daily Feature for his movie Mordecai sets up an account ( animated )

2009 was a very big year for Newgrounds, and @Kirbopher and @Rina-chan's Brawl Taunts series played a big part, with the third and final installment, One More Brawl Taunts, being a full-scale collab. Although well-received, they weren't without criticism, notably for their lack of humor.

Then came Brawl Funnies, a parody of all the lame video game parodies flooding Newgrounds at the time with either Kirbopher and Rina-chan front and center as the butt of the joke. Submitted by @CoolDrMoney and featuring parts by other popular artists such as @rtil, @Blordow, @Ukinojoe, @f0d, and @Emanhattan, Brawl Funnies was so big it had to be split into two "dicks". Most of the creators were also responsible for Tank Award nominee Metal Gear Funnies, which was removed around 2013, but we know our ways around it.

"For the most part, I'm not incredibly bothered by them. I know several of the people involved, and I know a lot of it is done in jest. Otherwise, when it gets down to it they're allowed to do whatever they feel like, so who am I to judge."

-Kirbopher

June 23, 2010

Here are the Top 5 songs from the Audio Portal, except this time based on what showed up on the RSS feed on November 30th 2022, ie, who actually won the Audio trophies this week.

Kicking off at Number 5 is stargazing by @nuphory.

Number 4 is REPENT MOTHERFXXXER (CLUB MIX) by @onumi

Number 3 is @TheThirdRates' cover of Escape From the City from Sonic Adventure 2. It's a little slower than the original, but otherwise incredibly well-made.

Number 2 is Jay Eskar - Face 2 Face (ft. Justin J Moore) by @jayeskar

And finally at Number 1, we have F-777 - Airborne Robots (Zoftle Remix). @Zoftle's version of Geometry Dash superstar @F-777's song.

ENG:

This week's featured artist is @Lisnovski. Although he joined Newgrounds in 2019, he only recently started posting pixel art here and let's just say he's already giving @ScepterDPinoy a run for his money.

Do check out his six-part Super Smash Bros character collection which he spent around 2 years on.

SPA:

El artista destacado de esta semana es @Lisnovski. Aunque se unió a Newgrounds en 2019, solo recientemente comenzó a publicar pixel art aquí y digamos que ya @ScepterDPinoy está dando una carrera por su dinero.

Echa un vistazo a su colección de personajes de Super Smash Bros de seis partes en la que pasó alrededor de 2 años.

Super Smash Bros. Ultimate

Lisnovski

SUPPORTER OF THE WEEK

@illwillpress

Jonathan Ian Mathers, aka illwillpress has been on Newgrounds for 20 years at this point. Since early 2003, he's been supporting Newgrounds by posting a brand new Foamy the Squirrel cartoon every 2 weeks, giving us hundreds of episodes to watch through and enjoy, on top of also submitting comics and other miscellaneous doodles.

Thank you J.i.M

PARTY CHITCHAT

Welcome to the supporter forum!

A lot of users become supporters, but don't drop by the Party. Stop in and introduce yourself!

Why Did You Support Newgrounds

A thread made early in the Supporter launch. What made you want to purchase a Supporter upgrade and give your hard earned money to Newgrounds?

• Newgrounds, how often do you shower? - You can pay $3 a month to support Newgrounds and yet you can't spare $2 on a bar of soap?
• Supporters should get gif PFPs - Those can get annoying.
• Shit poast status - A spoiler-free zone.
• Forum Game - Dirty License Plates NSFW - 10 pages and counting.
• Poast the last image you saved - "I confess, I saved a new image just to cover my tracks"

"Thanks P-Bot"

@ethanblair

QUOTES OF THE WEEK

"new grounds is not new now its OLDGROUNDS because it was founded in 1995 and in 1995 everything is old so newgrounds is now old grounds"

@TouristTourment, joined 2021.

"Dating is for simps"

@DingleberryClock, simp

"If you dont like being bald have you tried NOT being bald?"

@Wegra, again. God dammit Wegra!

"deserves to be on the homepage of XXX_videos.com"

@TotallyNotSandNG, doubleposter.

"I agrree Newgrounds is awesome and that art is me thinking about how Newgrounds is more awesome than other places."

@TomFulp, Proofreader for Hire.

Here are the Users of the Day from November 28, 2022 - December 4, 2022. Congratulations to you all!

@8TrackTiddbits

@TechFuzz

@TheADHX

@Zombi3Guts

@Nwilly

@tooni-pi

@Chupabara

USERS OF THE DAY ON THIS DATE

2021: @FleckoGold

2020: @DogeisCut

2019: @MateoNR

2016: @Brineshrimp

Tankman Triweekly is on a 12 month break from spamming

[ PREVIOUS ISSUE | NEXT ISSUE | FOLLOW ANONYMOUS-FROG ]

The Tank Tribune is a part of Dohn's Desk Productions

[ SUPPORT ON PATREON | SUPPORT NEWGROUNDS ]



NO: 26 | LETTER FROM THE EDITOR

Dear TT readers. Sorry for not updating. I promised to update in September, then October. All this has been killing me. I promise to update again on December 5th next Monday.

Elon Musk

LETTER FROM THE EDITOR

"Happy Halloween!" Is that all? Can I get paid? I understand funding's been rough recently, but I deserve to not be homeless!

Mike the Intern

This One Individual Has the Star Syndicate In Shocks!

Members of @TheStarSyndicate are left shuffling their brains as soon as they saw how much spam @ZabuJard was uploading.

ZabuJard, aka Jare, managed to upload over 1,000 game + movie submissions in the span of only 3 years all on his own (mostly), whereas the Star Syndicate had to source their ~1,000 from multiple creators, most notably with Dailytoons, of which ~500 episodes were made by 3+ contributors and the entire process was organized by multiple people over the span of 15+ years.

When asked about on the Newgrounds Public Radio, various members had this to say:

"How? Just how! that's a record we're not gonna beat in quite some time. We might have to consider doing Dailytoons again for the first time in years! He might be interested."

@Princess-Laucherella

"Star syndicate not #1 anymore? Holy cow we got some unfinished business to attend to! "

@Starberry

"i await the day this zabujard fellow gets himself in a deletin acident like i did 15 yrs ago so we can claim the numba one spot again"

@SevnStar

"Shit"

@ThreeStar

ZabuJard has 3,000 followers as of October 2022.

See Also: Our Interview with ZabuJard

With Nothing Left To Lose, KANYE WEST Goes To The One Place No One Dares To Look - The General BBS:

NG BBS regular @poopypeter claims to have found the 45 year old rapper in the thread

the clock crew is back. West, the deadname of the artist now known as Ye, reportedly had multiple companies like Apple and Adidas pull out on all sponsorships and deals, and had been locked out of Twitter and Instagram for alleged Anti-Semetic statements.

We at the Tankman Triweekly believe that the jump to Newgrounds will not end well for West, despite a seemingly positive interaction with no drama.

West also refused an interview on the Newgrounds Public Radio after realizing that @maxxjames was just gonna roast him for 3 hours straight,

NEWGROUNDS PREDICTED THE FUTURE! ELON MUSK BUYS TWITTER!

Apparently, the Newgrounds is a prophet because Elon Musk, billionaire extraordinaire, is now officially the owner of Twitter, which needs no explanation. Actually the acquisition started in April, but completed very recently, but still, Newgrounds is excited.

But did you know, in 2020, Newgrounds organized a Musk Jam where animations are made centered around Elon Musk? Here are some of our best picks.

"We all love video game parodies and Twisted Metal 2020-Musk Playthrough delivers.

It mostly uses comic-style still-frame drawings, which the game it was based on also uses. It's also a neat time-saving technique that allowed @Vudujin and team to go over 6 minutes."

@Anonymous-Frog, demoted to Journalist.

"This Rick and Morty parody by @flashgitz has Musk and podcaster Joe Rogan mess around with some "space weed". Although not entered into the jam due to being submitted late, it's still worth a watch. It emulates both Rick and Morty's animation and writing very well."

@Anonymous-Frog, blind to obvious motion tweening

"I personally enjoyed this entry by @Lambtaco a lot. It parodies Marvel's Iron Man very well and has some interesting effects."

@Anonymous-Frog, supporter of the underrated.

"A funny Sealab parody from @Sevi @AntonM @ConnorGrail and god knows how many more. Also featuring the voices of Dj Jeffy @JohnnyUtah Jeff and @Spazkid comes out of retirement too. And @TomFulp himself's the narrator."

@Anonymous-Frog, last stakeholder of Twitter Inc before the buyout.

Final honorable mention goes to the winner of the Musk Jam, Son of the Musk by @BoyPorcelain and starring voice acting legends @retroarcademonkey, @NeviAlden and @LuckoDaStars. Also @VoicesbyCorey.

In other news, Twitter becomes the second major site to be controlled under a single dictator, the first being Newgrounds.

@Dry

Homer Simpson's turkey sandwich.

@BrandyBuizel

The Audio Portal is for audio!

This Funny Strip was sponsored by Anonymous-Frog's Big Red Sketchydoodles.

Tankman Triweekly Tweets Total Typos To TattleTale Toilets. Tell The Tale!

Previous Issue | Next Issue

NO 24: Shortened For You Kids.

LETTER FROM THE EDITOR

Writing this in two hours to meet contractual obligations, which not even whinging on Twitter can stop. Don't blame me, I hadn't seen the other guy in weeks.

Intern Jeff, the guy behind damage control.

A NEW CHALLENGER ARRIVES: King Charles III Duels Salad Fingers

This'll be scheduled at 5:00 PM GMT. International viewers can watch live on YouTube.

Who has the better fingers? That's the big question of the year. A finger gun fight has been organized with current champion Salad Fingers competing against newcomer Charles III of the UK.

Charles, 73, has received some notability for his massive fingers upon becoming King. It's also the reason why he has very big ears.

When signing the contract, Salad Fingers pulled back the skin to reveal some back inky substance, while Charles accidentally knocks over the ink jar after 10 minutes of getting seated.

HELP WANTED: NEW EDITOR

Out of ideas. Need new editors to write.

Temporarily discontinued due to severe backlash.

Also on hold. If Dilbert isn't safe to publish then what else is?

NO: 23 - Super Happy Triothy Day 2

UPDATE REGARDING THE VIZZY DEVS

I'd like to apologise to the developers of Vizzy & the Lost Cat for their inclusion in the Schmucks of the Day list. This was a step way too far. Read the full apology

LETTER FROM THE EDITOR

Heads up! Triothy Day has been moved from August 15th to August 17th. August 15th is also the day that @StrawberryClock submitted the all-famous B 21 years ago, a historical moment. I hope this is a good compromise.

A little belated Happy Triothy Day (or 300+ days early) from everyone at Tankman Triweekly.. oh I mean Big Hoss Day.

Anonymous-Frog

Stickman Unemployment Rates Drop by 30%

Unemployment rates in the stick community are at an all-time low, currently at 30%. According to experts from Newgrounds.com, this is due to "a lack of representation in the media". Once a global sensation in the beginning of the 21st century, have now had their most popular icons fade into obscurity

Although stickmen had existed during the 20th century and possibly earlier, appearing on traffic signs and kids' notebooks, they first entered the mainstream when Xiao Xiao hit the scene in 2001. Despite heavy competition from the Clock Crew, along with the impending rise of the Madness Combat series, not to mention high murder rates, stick figures managed to peak at a 23% market share in 2004. But what comes up must come down and come down they did.

Enter Henry Stickmin. He is believed to have first hit the scene in 2007's Crossing the Pit by Innersloth co-founder @PuffballsUnited, although that has been heavily disputed. He made his first major breakthrough with Breaking the Bank in 2008 and has since then became a major staple of Newgrounds.

In August 2020, the most recent installment "Completing the Mission" was released alongside The Henry Stickmin Collection on Steam. Innersloth have confirmed that this will be the final Henry Stickmin game as they go all in with the equally successful Among Us. This in turn will lead to a slow, but steady decline that can only be filled with fan-games.

Also in 2020 was @wavetro's Stickmen 2020 series. Short, quick to produce shorts that brought our beloved stick figures to 3D became a moderate success among stick fans. It ran for 20 episodes before the creator called it quits and ended the series, filing for bankruptcy at the end of the year. It's only a matter of time before someone else files for a new trademark in order to resume the series.

However, there is some good news. @Hyun's Doors: The Game managed to reach its Kickstarter goal of $40,000, which will be used to develop a custom stick platformer with an extremely versatile 2D level editor.

We'd also like to give a honorable mention to the upcoming The Fancy Pants Adventures: Classic Pack, created by @DrNeroCF (Brad Borne) and being published by @Noodle (2 Left Thumbs) and coming to Steam at an upcoming date.

As long as both games become a massive success, the stick community will never truly die. Not that they had anyway.

FBI finds and confiscates 25 Portal Awards from Mar-a-Lago raid

The Federal Bureau of Investigation has discovered that amongst the boxes of classified documents taken from the White House, former ex-president of the United States @DonaldTrump also had a string of 25 Newgrounds Portal awards in his possession at his Mar-a-Lago residence, ranging from multiple Dailies, a couple of Weekly 5ths, and a Weekly User's Choice that was tied to the movie Friday Night Hunkin' : Senpai.

"Those dipthongs were RAIDING my personal residence and TAKING AWAY the awards that I won FAIR and SQUARE!" Trump explained on Truth Social. "You'd expect all sorts of bullshit from the failing piles of garbage that are YouTube, Twitter, etc, which have wrongfully banned me as soon as they took away my presidential rights, but these are Newgrounds awards? Ain't their motto 'Everything by Everyone?' Might as well take Obama's. He's got WAY more than I do!"

Ultimately, the FBI has decided to let Trump keep the awards,

At Least 69 Animations and Games Pulled from Newgrounds this August

CEO of Newgrounds Incorporated Tom Fulp has just announced that he will pull 69 beloved submissions and series from our beloved platform starting Wednesday, following a massive restructuring combined with a lack of Supporter funds and an effort to declutter the site. You will not be able to watch these movies, play these games, or find them on Steam or Itch or YouTube or Odysee, not officially at least.

The full list of removed submissions includes the following, so watch them while you still can

1- Pico and the Uberhaircut: Pico Day 2012 entry created by @Nogfish with music by @RedMongoose

2- MONKEY WRENCH: The passion project of @Zeurel and dozens of other artists will get the cut.

3-24- Chutney Glaze: The episode Bad Dream :( will somehow stay on.

25- MASS: A 2005 film from Zekey that tells the tale of two rivalling artists, one who creates low-effort rabbit comics, and the other who just can't make a living. It's a brilliant satire inspired by the endeavors of Foamy the Squirrel.

26-50- Retarded Animal Babies: Spanning 23 episodes from 2003 to 2011, this series is about, retarded animal babies.

51- Foreskin Surgery 2: It's a @ZabuJard spam game, you're not gonna be mad if we only cut one of them?

52- Shave Fulps Cat: Never mind. Rally the angry Twitter mob!

53-One Ring to Rule Them All: A LegendaryFrog classic trilogy. Notably the one that looks the worst.

54- One Ring to Rule ThemAll2: Removed at the request of fans of the upcoming Amazon Prime Lord of the Rings series.

55- Dr. Mario with Lyrics: Survived 4 separate lawsuits from Nintendo, couldn't survive this purge.

56-57- Anusboy and AnusboyII:

58- Pico 2 Gameplay Demo: Couldn't get the full game to work on an Atari 2600, so why even bother keeping it up?

59- Tarboy: Once the highest rated movie of all time, which has since been dethroned permanently for the first time in 9 years.

60- Porb Dressup: I'll get me coat.

61- Inktopia Border Patrol: A brilliant satire that compares 'spam' to illegal immigration

62- Dynacore: Play it while you still can!

63-67- Brawl Taunts, More Brawl Taunts, and One More Brawl Taunts. Also Brawl Funnies DICK 1 and DICK 2, which parody the iconic trilogy by Kirbopher.

68- Madness Day 2008. Not the entire year's worth of submissions, just this one "collab".

69- Plufmot Clicker. You're gonna have to do something else with the beloved @plufmot.

@CyberRobotniks

No it doesn't

@ElectricAngel7482

Serial Thread Locker

As seen in Issue #21, which has yet to be solved. To make it easier, I've bought you all a vowel.

Credit: The Ugasi Show

Tankman Triweekly is suing the Russian goverment

Previous Issue | Next Issue | All Issues | Follow Anonymous-Frog

Special Thanks to all Patrons on Patreon! Shoutouts coming soon (about 6 weeks from now)

NO. 22: Grand Finale

LETTER FROM THE EDITOR

Quick heads up! The entire editing team at Tankman Triweekly will be replaced starting tomorrow. All 150 writers, editors, illustrators, and interns will be swapped out with brand new recruits.

We're sorry to make this decision, but we've been here for a solid year and it's time for a new change. So by August, I will step down as lead editor and be swapped out by a younger and newer generation of contributors.

Also quick reminder that the Kitty Krew is still hosting a mini-contest for submissions up until August 17th. Mark your calendars and don't be shy if it's a shitpost rushed together in 2 days! Prizes include art + animation commissions from yours truly!

Anonymous-Frog

P-Bot's Daily Rejections - July 18th-31st

Did you lose out on a daily award? Yeah that sucks, especially since some big-ass names always grab the top spots. Not to worry! Tankman Triweekly are here to help, showcasing submissions that got 10th place in P-Bot's Daily Picks!

We start last week off with @NFitzgerald losing for their movie The Toon Johnnies: Part 2. They had only won once for straighthen up and fly right (S1 E3)

@lolnein lost for their movie Please Move. Despite making it on our list, it still managed a score of 3.75 / 5.

@adriendittrick and @shinlalala lost out when they made [BTNverse] The void rolls back for GMTK Jam 2022.

@corruptmodule lost with their movie HAYWIRE. This was a pretty neat experimental short film set to some slightly ear-grating music (Make sure to turn down the volume for the sake of your earphones / parents before buying the song on Bandcamp!)

Former Schmuck of the Day winner @stevetherapper lost for his movie Frog. It's no surprise since there is no colour, no FBF, it's derived from a TikTok, and heavily rushed.

"I made this animatic in the span of 3 days. It took 2 days to finish."

@SaucyFryAnimation lost for their movie When you learn the origin of the relaxing music. They are better known for making meme-ish content on YouTube rather than original animations. This is the closest (and best) work of theirs so far in our opinion.

We close the week off with @DutchWifeMedia, who didn't win anything for their movie Dicknose Episode 2

And here's this week's losers. We start off with @softcactusfilms losing for their movie Love The Moochers Pilot. It's 8 minutes long and worth a watch, but was quickly beaten out a few 'popular' authors

@NeTvoyMalchik lost out today with their movie Breakfast.

@ELE1 lost out trying to celebrate One Piece's 25th anniversary with ONE PIECE 25th Anniversary Video

Thursday's losers are @ThrJester and their team of 69 animators (not coauthored sadly) for their collab Spongebob Rise And Shine Reanimated Collab.

@SaunterWing lost for their movie Game Over: Phantom's Terrifying Tape-Down! A continue screen involving bondage, and jiggling breasts. Get over yourselves!

@FunSubs lost for Sonic the Hedgehog 2, a video game parody based on the game of the same name with crappy audio

We close the week off with @stuthemoo losing for their game Canyon Attack

What do you think of these submissions?

Sixty-Nine Degrees of Piconjo. Great New Piconjo Game by Piconjers and Non-Piconjers!

Ever heard of Six Degrees of Bacon? You know, the one based on @KevinBacon? Well @Piconjo has introduced his own version, Sixty-Nine Degrees of Piconjo.

How this works is that you can link almost any NG author back to Piconjo in no more than 69 links, via movie, game, or audio submissions on Newgrounds. The amount of links, or 'degrees' in order to get to Piconjo determines an author's Piconjo number. The higher the number, the further the separation to Piconjo.

• Piconjo himself has a Piconjo number of 0
• Authors that directly share a coauthor with Piconjo have a Piconjo number of 1
• If the lowest Piconjo number of any author with whom X has appeared in any submission is T, X's Piconjo number is T+1.
• Some authors link to no other author, and thus don't have a Piconjo number and thus have no <3

For example: @Stepford

@Stepford links to @TeraVex through Five Nights at Fulp's and Piconjo: AFK

@TeraVex links to @Piconjo through Piconjo: Teh 6aym (Full OST)

Thus, @Stepford has a Piconjo number of 2 and @TeraVex has a Piconjo number of 1

Got that? Good, here are a few more examples:

@Krinkels links to @CryNN via Somewhere in Nevada II Teaser

@CryNN links to @ThatJohnnyGuy via a Cursed Server collaboration (which includes the song 'Body Clock'

@ThatJohnnyGuy links to @Anonymous-Frog through NG Zero Hour LITE

And @Anonymous-Frog links to Piconjo through Epilogue: Rtil's Quest

Thus, @Anonymous-Frog has a Piconjo number of 1, @ThatJohnnyGuy has 2, @CryNN has 3, and Krinkels has a Piconjo number of 4.

@TomFulp links to @RebeccaDoodles through TANK DICK reanimated HD

@RebeccaDoodles links to Piconjo via Piconjoday Jam 2021

Thus @RebeccaDoodles has a Piconjo number of 1 and @TomFulp has a Piconjo number of 2!

What about teh king of all teh t0adies @LegendaryFrog? What's his Piconjo number? Well, Tankman Triweekly has the answer!

@LegendaryFrog links to @Kirbopher through NiN10Doh: ToThe64thPower

@Kirbopher links to @RGPAnims via the Rawest Forest Reanimated Collab

@RGPAnims links to @TeraVex via FulpWare

Since TeraVex has a Piconjo number of 1, that means @RGPAnims has a Piconjo number of 2, @Kirbopher is 3 and last but not least: @LegendaryFrog has a Piconjo number of 4, which means he still has some <3 within himself.

What do you think? Do j00 have a Piconjo number? Have j00 found someone else's Piconjo number? Share your results in the comments!

UPDATE (Sep 6th): We later discovered that @LegendaryFrog links to @The-Super-Flash-Bros via TSAH2

And @The-Super-Flash-Bros links to @Piconjo via The 10 Second Showcase.

Although LegendaryFrog also made a part here, this does not count as a direct link, due to limitations at the time.

Therefore, LegendaryFrog has a Piconjo number of 2, and The-Super-Flash-Bros has a Piconjo number of 1.

LATEST INTERVIEW | Griff Liquamine

Griff Liquamine is a soul-collecting demon from the 4th layer of Hell. He offers a chance of internet stardom in exchange for your soul, and claims to not be 'one of the evil ones'. In this exclusive interview, we get to find out how he does it.

Q: How did you find Newgrounds and why did you join?

A: I found it when one of my clients, who was at the time just a kid with a dream, submitted a couple of cartoons here. This must've been around 2003-2004, still some time before the Internet would forever become an essential part of life like it is today with people all around the world stuck to their screens watching pretty much any old junk. He wasn't my first client exactly, but rather the first client of mine I'd like to try something different on.

Most demons I know have for thousands of years, always tried to convince some poor soul to sell their soul to them in exchange for something cool, and then they'll get them to really nasty shit so they'll be sent to Hell when they die

How my system differs is that rather than keep a client's soul, send them to Hell, and be done with it, I can collect the personal information of every single follower of that client with ease, which most other demons don't already know about, which I can then compile and sell to other demons and/or try to pursue myself, which could end up being worth a whole lot more than just the client's soul on its own. They say a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush, but imagine if that bush has ten million birds, compared to just one in your hand. Maybe then you'd reconsider writing that quote, dumb-ass!

|

Q. What's your secret to getting your client a ton of followers?

A. Sorry, I can't delve too deep into my analytics, as those are trade secrets, but what I can tell you is that I'll usually go after young, yet still very talented individuals an offer to make them big and famous, which is good for the both of us.

And as part of that deal, I will guide my client into getting the followers that we both need, typically by implementing my own input into their endeavours.

As a demon from Hell, I can do a lot of stuff most mere mortals cannot. I know what makes people tick! But for Client #1, he got ideas for 5 minute long cartoons that are so goddamn whacky, I can't really wrap my head around them. I convinced him to keep it grounded and consistent, such as... let's say... center them all around a group of 4 friends around the same age, which apparently worked a lot better than the crap he was putting out before I showed up.

There's an old saying; "You catch more flies with honey than with vinegar", which even though most of the higher-ups consider it blasphemous, I've considered it true ever since it was first written, and it's definitely helped with this client.

I tend to respect my clients and allow for some creative freedom, but I still need to do the bulk of the work necessary to get them there. In fact, I might say it was pretty fun working with him.

|

Q. It appears you've only made two deals with the first lasting from 2003 to 2012, and another from 2013 to 2022. How come your deal count is so low.

A. Actually, those just happen to be the two I've spent the most time with and the two I've put on my personal portfolio I'd show to future clients. To ensure that the former can stay relevant, I need to commit to maintaining their success, which usually requires full-time, round the clock engagement, so I've typically focused on only one client at a time.

I have another 'traditional' portfolio in order to get side gigs in Hell, which consists of hundreds, if not thousands of other clients I've pretty much just ghosted for the past 18 years and only show up every now and then to see if they're doing stuff. I usually just get them to do some bad shit in order to get them into Hell the regular way, sometimes because they were already a big POS to start with.

As a result of this full-time commitment, I can't afford to take any vacations in fear that all that work we've built together comes crumbling down, and I've only ever taken ONE vacation this century, that was in late-2012 when my first client died of cancer months prior. At that time I was getting very exhausted, but by then, I had already walked home with the equivalent to $18 million from exchanging both souls and analytical data from client's followers.

|

Q. Can you tell me more about your second major client?

A. Learning from client #1, I originally wanted to take a more serious approach to this 'internet stardom' thing, but this guy, all he does is play Minecraft all day, so I had to improvise.

People watching animations is one thing, but people watching other people play games is a whole 'nother kettle of fish.

I'll quote myself 9 years ago

"If [he] had any chances to succeed and gain an audience, [he] gotta get some NFL level of training ASAP!"

Quick tip for gaining an audience. Don't be too serious, while at the same time, don't go too batshit insane, otherwise you're just gonna get a super-serious or batshit insane audience.

|

Q. According to your record, both clients died at 23 from cancer. Is this a coincidence?

A. With attention spans getting smaller and smaller every decade, older celebs or e-celebs or YouTubers or streamers, or whatever, get replaced with newer ones at a quicker pace than they did years ago. Since my clients are usually young and aspiring people, because they have so much potential and so much to learn, that's the biggest drawback to my method. If not for their early deaths, I would've had to keep that fame train going for at least half a century and it would become a serious challenge to keep an audience engaged for that long.

Not that I could've kept them both going longer, but in the long run, they both ended up as blessings in disguise. Thanks to strong support from both communities, they ended up bringing in new people posthumously, which means I managed to get some passive income

|

Q. What can we expect from Liquamine in the future?

A. I don't think I could retire with all that I've collected from both communities, but I do have plans to sign up a third client. I won't spoil the surprise, but I can assure you that he/she will not die from cancer and definitely not at 23 and I will take extra measures to ensure all the 'toxic' parts of the community, you know, the ones who ship my clients with other people and draw disgusting Rule 34s of them, or in the latter's case, continuing to make offensive or 'in bad taste' content to cash in on his death, don't get too out of hand like the last two did.

In the past, I've purchased their souls so I can get paid when they get sent to Hell, but I'll try to get more involved with them until I can find a new client to dedicate all my free time to. It's the least I could do, given that's the bare minimum required for me to keep my job.

I tend to prioritize my reputation up here on Earth with human clients rather than my peers down at Hell and I see my relationship with my internet-famous clients more as a collaborative effort. It's better than scrubbing the ashes off Satan's personal bathroom.

Liquamine works real hard in order to push this soul-selling deal onto people who he sees 'will change the future forever for the greater good', despite pressure from his less-than ethical peers. He has been rumored to have sent more souls to Heaven than Hell.

@DynamoToon

Managed to get 4.5 stars on a 9 second, seemingly unfinished and very rough sketch of an animation

@Stamper

Still a junkie. But less so compared to ten minutes ago.

Credit: @The-Great-One

"Tankman Triweekly never lives!"

Previous Issue | Next Issue | Read Everything | Follow Anonymous-Frog

Special thanks to every Patreon Supporter:

@TankmanTriweekly