NO 24: Shortened For You Kids.

LETTER FROM THE EDITOR

Writing this in two hours to meet contractual obligations, which not even whinging on Twitter can stop. Don't blame me, I hadn't seen the other guy in weeks.

Intern Jeff, the guy behind damage control.

A NEW CHALLENGER ARRIVES: King Charles III Duels Salad Fingers

This'll be scheduled at 5:00 PM GMT. International viewers can watch live on YouTube.

Who has the better fingers? That's the big question of the year. A finger gun fight has been organized with current champion Salad Fingers competing against newcomer Charles III of the UK.

Charles, 73, has received some notability for his massive fingers upon becoming King. It's also the reason why he has very big ears.

When signing the contract, Salad Fingers pulled back the skin to reveal some back inky substance, while Charles accidentally knocks over the ink jar after 10 minutes of getting seated.

HELP WANTED: NEW EDITOR

Out of ideas. Need new editors to write.

Temporarily discontinued due to severe backlash.

Also on hold. If Dilbert isn't safe to publish then what else is?