NO: 23 - Super Happy Triothy Day 2
UPDATE REGARDING THE VIZZY DEVS
I'd like to apologise to the developers of Vizzy & the Lost Cat for their inclusion in the Schmucks of the Day list. This was a step way too far. Read the full apology
LETTER FROM THE EDITOR
Heads up! Triothy Day has been moved from August 15th to August 17th. August 15th is also the day that @StrawberryClock submitted the all-famous B 21 years ago, a historical moment. I hope this is a good compromise.
A little belated Happy Triothy Day (or 300+ days early) from everyone at Tankman Triweekly.. oh I mean Big Hoss Day.
Anonymous-Frog
Stickman Unemployment Rates Drop by 30%
Unemployment rates in the stick community are at an all-time low, currently at 30%. According to experts from Newgrounds.com, this is due to "a lack of representation in the media". Once a global sensation in the beginning of the 21st century, have now had their most popular icons fade into obscurity
Although stickmen had existed during the 20th century and possibly earlier, appearing on traffic signs and kids' notebooks, they first entered the mainstream when Xiao Xiao hit the scene in 2001. Despite heavy competition from the Clock Crew, along with the impending rise of the Madness Combat series, not to mention high murder rates, stick figures managed to peak at a 23% market share in 2004. But what comes up must come down and come down they did.
Enter Henry Stickmin. He is believed to have first hit the scene in 2007's Crossing the Pit by Innersloth co-founder @PuffballsUnited, although that has been heavily disputed. He made his first major breakthrough with Breaking the Bank in 2008 and has since then became a major staple of Newgrounds.
In August 2020, the most recent installment "Completing the Mission" was released alongside The Henry Stickmin Collection on Steam. Innersloth have confirmed that this will be the final Henry Stickmin game as they go all in with the equally successful Among Us. This in turn will lead to a slow, but steady decline that can only be filled with fan-games.
Also in 2020 was @wavetro's Stickmen 2020 series. Short, quick to produce shorts that brought our beloved stick figures to 3D became a moderate success among stick fans. It ran for 20 episodes before the creator called it quits and ended the series, filing for bankruptcy at the end of the year. It's only a matter of time before someone else files for a new trademark in order to resume the series.
However, there is some good news. @Hyun's Doors: The Game managed to reach its Kickstarter goal of $40,000, which will be used to develop a custom stick platformer with an extremely versatile 2D level editor.
We'd also like to give a honorable mention to the upcoming The Fancy Pants Adventures: Classic Pack, created by @DrNeroCF (Brad Borne) and being published by @Noodle (2 Left Thumbs) and coming to Steam at an upcoming date.
As long as both games become a massive success, the stick community will never truly die. Not that they had anyway.
FBI finds and confiscates 25 Portal Awards from Mar-a-Lago raid
The Federal Bureau of Investigation has discovered that amongst the boxes of classified documents taken from the White House, former ex-president of the United States @DonaldTrump also had a string of 25 Newgrounds Portal awards in his possession at his Mar-a-Lago residence, ranging from multiple Dailies, a couple of Weekly 5ths, and a Weekly User's Choice that was tied to the movie Friday Night Hunkin' : Senpai.
"Those dipthongs were RAIDING my personal residence and TAKING AWAY the awards that I won FAIR and SQUARE!" Trump explained on Truth Social. "You'd expect all sorts of bullshit from the failing piles of garbage that are YouTube, Twitter, etc, which have wrongfully banned me as soon as they took away my presidential rights, but these are Newgrounds awards? Ain't their motto 'Everything by Everyone?' Might as well take Obama's. He's got WAY more than I do!"
Ultimately, the FBI has decided to let Trump keep the awards,
At Least 69 Animations and Games Pulled from Newgrounds this August
CEO of Newgrounds Incorporated Tom Fulp has just announced that he will pull 69 beloved submissions and series from our beloved platform starting Wednesday, following a massive restructuring combined with a lack of Supporter funds and an effort to declutter the site. You will not be able to watch these movies, play these games, or find them on Steam or Itch or YouTube or Odysee, not officially at least.
The full list of removed submissions includes the following, so watch them while you still can
1- Pico and the Uberhaircut: Pico Day 2012 entry created by @Nogfish with music by @RedMongoose
2- MONKEY WRENCH: The passion project of @Zeurel and dozens of other artists will get the cut.
3-24- Chutney Glaze: The episode Bad Dream :( will somehow stay on.
25- MASS: A 2005 film from Zekey that tells the tale of two rivalling artists, one who creates low-effort rabbit comics, and the other who just can't make a living. It's a brilliant satire inspired by the endeavors of Foamy the Squirrel.
26-50- Retarded Animal Babies: Spanning 23 episodes from 2003 to 2011, this series is about, retarded animal babies.
51- Foreskin Surgery 2: It's a @ZabuJard spam game, you're not gonna be mad if we only cut one of them?
52- Shave Fulps Cat: Never mind. Rally the angry Twitter mob!
53-One Ring to Rule Them All: A LegendaryFrog classic trilogy. Notably the one that looks the worst.
54- One Ring to Rule ThemAll2: Removed at the request of fans of the upcoming Amazon Prime Lord of the Rings series.
55- Dr. Mario with Lyrics: Survived 4 separate lawsuits from Nintendo, couldn't survive this purge.
58- Pico 2 Gameplay Demo: Couldn't get the full game to work on an Atari 2600, so why even bother keeping it up?
59- Tarboy: Once the highest rated movie of all time, which has since been dethroned permanently for the first time in 9 years.
60- Porb Dressup: I'll get me coat.
61- Inktopia Border Patrol: A brilliant satire that compares 'spam' to illegal immigration
62- Dynacore: Play it while you still can!
63-67- Brawl Taunts, More Brawl Taunts, and One More Brawl Taunts. Also Brawl Funnies DICK 1 and DICK 2, which parody the iconic trilogy by Kirbopher.
68- Madness Day 2008. Not the entire year's worth of submissions, just this one "collab".
69- Plufmot Clicker. You're gonna have to do something else with the beloved @plufmot.
Serial Thread Locker
As seen in Issue #21, which has yet to be solved. To make it easier, I've bought you all a vowel.
Credit: The Ugasi Show
Tankman Triweekly is suing the Russian goverment
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BrandyBuizel
Comic was alright