NO: 36 | It's All About the Articles, Baby!

LETTER FROM THE EDITOR

I am currently temporarily unavailable at the moment, so no new Dick Nick from me. Please come back for the next issue.

Detective Nicholas Dick

Newgrounds 2024 Meetup: THE MOON!

We've been to California, we've been to New York, Toronto, London, we've hung out with pretty much the entire world! So, starting in 2024, Newgrounds is glad to announce that their newest official meetup will take place...

IN SPACE!!!

CURRENT ATTENDEES (this list is expected to rise):

@Luis

@Anonymous-Frog

@TomFulp

@The-Great-One

@Aalasteir

WHEN IS IT TAKING PLACE:

January 1st-31st: 2024. The entire month is yours.

REQUIREMENTS:

Under US jurisdiction, you cannot drink while under 21. Any participants under 18 must require parental permission

You must bring along your phone, as well as email us a complete backup of your hard-drive (optional).

WHAT'S THE PLAN?:

Directions to the meetup are a little rough, but you should be able to make it on time.

1- On New Year's Eve, 11:30 PM, you will walk to your nearest public restroom. Go into the bathroom of the opposite gender of your own (this is a reference to Pico's School BTW, in case you didn't get it)

2- Stick your head straight into the toilet bowl and echo your NG username along with the phrase "Everything by Everyone".

The Endless Handbag loop will start playing.

3- After 5 seconds, while keeping your head in place, flush.

4- You will be sucked through the sewers and make your way into a giant underground hangout. I have prepared a space shuttle designed to take you all to the Moon. Go into said rocket.

5- Await further instructions

6- You have made it to the Moon, where we'll spend the rest of the month in the patent pending MOON BASE, complete with a 5 star hotel accommodating up to 40 rooms, free food. great view, etc.

If you want to continue to create content, we have spare computers where we've backed up those hard drives from earlier.

7- On the 31st, the return trip back to Earth will drop you off in Philadelphia.

Musicians Needed: Newgrounds to Stop Copyright Infringement ONCE AND FOR ALL!

Since 2015, various old submissions were taken off of Newgrounds mainly for one key reason: they all used copyrighted material from big-name bands and performers, such as Fatboy Slim, Danny Elfman, the Avalanches, Fear Factory, Rammstein, Aphex Twin, and many more.

A handful of other movies are still up, but may be at risk of deletion at any point.

This is where you, the average NG musician, can help. If you can create a cover/remix, or a roughly similar song to replace what got cut, let us know, so we can get Tom to upload it to NG and get it restored

You may also need some basic Flash de-compiling skills in order to swap the music in, as well as change any audio credits if they have any.

With your help, we can preserve NG history one song at a time.

We also plan to replace the Titanic footage in Tankmen 1 with an animated parody. If you have what it takes, let us know.

CHIEF WIGGUM Hired as new Director of Friday Night Funkin'

Image credit: The Simpsons.

The Funkin' Crew announced on Saturday that Friday Night Funkin' director Cameron "@ninjamuffin99" Taylor would be stepping down as head developer of the Full-Ass-Game. Taylor, 24, would be replaced by Springfield regular Clancy Wiggum, who served as Chief of Police in Springfield for over 3 decades.

When asked about why the team hired Wiggum, they said he "could actually motivate the team to actually get the game out quicker and knows how to stamp out any drama".

Taylor will continue to program FNF: The Full-Ass Game, however, he will step back from public activities.

Tankman Triweekly Employee Forgets to Log Out of Account

A @TankmanTriweekly editor fails to log out of the main account and has managed to earn 42 points on @crow-seeds' game Switch.tv, as well as earn 4 out of 5 medals.

The medals, earned on July 20th 2023, accounted to up to 2 hours of playtime according to CCTV footage in the office.

A TT spokesperson has confirmed that our new company policy now requires any off-work activity to be done 100 meters away from the main office.

BEST OF JUNE 2023:

It's the end of August and we're STILL busy trying to review the rest of the movies. Be patient:

Tankman Triweekly is running at a $2 loss, but if you give us $400 a month, we'll give back $500 a month back to the community.

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