NO 34: Triweekly Funnies (July 2023 Issue)
LETTER FROM THE EDITOR:
Hello TT readers. I, the original creator of Tankman Triweekly have officially come back to revive the paper after god knows how long. I'd go back to the classics, three articles, a few side issues, but these days, I'd rather just delay you every month because I desperately want a break.
TOP STORY: TOM FULP SCHEDULED TO FIGHT MARK ZUCKERBERG TOMORROW
Image credit: Google Images
It's the day you've all been waiting for. Mr. Newgrounds himself, Thomas "@TomFulp" Fulp has officially started his boxing career.
Fulp, 45, is scheduled to fight against the current reigning champion, Meta CEO Mark Zuckerberg, who took the title by defeating Twitter CEO Elon Musk in the ring last week.
When asked about his strategy going into the fight, Tom had this to say:
"Following through on our "Everything by Everyone" motto, I believe I should allow anyone with any style to represent me, whether it's punches, kicks, kung fu, jujitsu, jumping on the ropes, you name it. I'm allowing everyone to come out and fight the Zuck as a community. Our focus is on hand-to-hand combat. If you want to try melee weapons, it must be a short stick and preferably include a few striking moves in between swings.
I also encourage a lot of collaboration between fighters of various styles."
Zuckerberg, 39, was also asked about his strategy. He poked both my eyes with his forked tongue, so I assume that's how he'll fight Fulp.
Good luck out there Thomas!
DICK NICK PRESENTS: THE FUNNIES SAGA
THEME SONG BY A+B
Hello, I'm Nicholas Dick, world renowned internet detective. When I'm not doing my job, I'd typically lay back and use the old forums. One day while researching the 15-year disappearance of 500 drawing tablets, I discovered that on the post about Anigen / JakeGanz winning a tablet, the link to Metal Gear Funnies, which was supposed to be removed, actually linked to a perfectly viewable and healthy SWF submission (at least on my end).
For reference, here's what it looked like before (circa earlier in 2023 via Wayback Machine).
That's odd. Originally it said the author was <deleted>, but now it's @CoolDrMoney. It also seems to exist in some form of "phantom" state. I can view the flash, it seems like people can make new reviews, yet I can't favorite it or react to other reviews, nor does it show up on other peoples' userpages. A link to a video version seems to exist, but it says the submission doesn't have a video.
It also links to the Five Nights at Freddy's collection for some reason, despite it not being in the collection itself (and also predating FNaF by 6 years).
Since this isn't my usual investigation, I'd like to instead dedicate this episode of Internet Detective to giving you a complete rundown of the cult classic Flash movie Metal Gear Funnies, as if I was some punk Gen-Z YouTuber.
Let's get started.
FUNNIES: A Complete History.
Metal Gear Funnies was a collaboration organized by Bug (formerly BigArmyBug), and other members of a site called TheBackAlleys. throughout 2008, meant to parody and coincide with an official NG Metal Gear collab hosted by @Stamper. Both collabs were released on Jul 5, 2008.
ChatGPT describes it like this (Supporter Party, you owe us $3)
"This collaborative effort brought together multiple Flash animators to create a collection of humorous and irreverent sketches based on the popular Metal Gear Solid franchise. The diverse styles and comedic brilliance of the artists made "Metal Gear Funnies" an instant classic."
Though it also thought it was made in 2004 and @Oney created Homestar Runner, so you know it's legit!
MGF was released around a time when "video game parodies" were commonplace on Newgrounds. It originated with creators like @LegendaryFrog and later on, @Egoraptor, @Kirbopher, @Alvin-Earthworm, and others. Others would create their own parodies, and, let's just say many of them were shit, or at least inferior to original movies (with original characters).
Funnies features the talents of
Bug, aka Brandon Clark, aka BigArmyBug, aka Bugzooka, aka "Gone to get the milk"
@rtil, creator of Metropolis Circuit among other flash movies. His part was released separately.
@CoolDrMoney, who'd later host the sequel, Brawl Funnies.
@Blordow, who also released his part separately and would later return in Brawl Funnies.
@ZekeySpaceyLizard, creator of Squaresville
@Gerkinman, aka Visitors from Dreams, a great animator in his own right.
@jakeganz, formerly Anigen, who would later create Studio Yotta, a team of freelance animators that also includes rtil, Bug, and Zekey.
And a few others that are either uncredited or hadn't achieved the levels of success these creators had. But I'm sure you'll probably see the gold at the bottom end of the rainbow.
Funnies was particularly controversial upon release. Many criticized the animation, saying that with few exceptions, most of the animation was terrible. Some also saw the jokes as also hit or miss, or as an attack on other creators such as Egoraptor or Kirbopher, while others saw it as a brilliant piece of meta-satire poking fun at the entire concept of "video game parodies" and the people who watch such content. In other words, it's the father, or at least the cool uncle of the humor of today's web cartoons. Ultimately it leaned towards "brilliant piece of meta-satire", and thus it was frontpaged on the site for god-knows-how-long, allowing it to rack in 270k views over the course of five years.
Ultimately, due to all the negative reviews, it managed to dip below 2 stars, later 2.5 stars. and presumably due to the A-rating, it never won any Portal awards. It did however, get voted the 2nd best movie of July 2008, only falling behind MGS: Flash Collab DISC 01, the collab it was parodying. Because MGS was run by Newgrounds itself, Funnies got the #1 spot and a nomination for the Tank Awards. It also funnily enough, beat out Egoraptor's Awesome Crossing Reduz, which got the 4th place slot that month.
Final Fight:the Nerd Saga, a standalone upload by rtil, placed 6th overall, also received a runner-up prize.
A sequel, Brawl Funnies, was released the following year in two parts, to capitalize on Kirbopher and RIna-chan's Brawl Taunts, who's 3rd and final installment was a collab.
However, all things must come to an end. Around 2013-2014, Bug removed all of this movies from Newgrounds, which included the popular Ignorance is Bliss and Supersonic - Bad Religion. This included Metal Gear Funnies.
After reposting a demoreel in 2016, Bug deleted his account in 2019.
Apparently, Bug suffered from a bunch of mental health struggles / lost his mind and became a lunatic over the years. For reasons that are either hard to find nowadays, or get way too personal amongst the rest of the contributors, I cannot find any more information about what happened afterwards.
That seemed to be the end of Metal Gear Funnies. For almost a decade, the only real way to watch this classic in its entirety. is to have downloaded the SWF before its removal, (or after, if you know how to use the Wayback Machine). Either that or Flashpoint. Due to some of the material being NSFW, it'd be impossible to reupload onto YouTube without at least half a Guideline strike.
Then some time in 2023, not too long ago, CoolDrMoney was assigned the new lead author, presumably by Tom Fulp, and MGF was seemingly restored to Newgrounds after almost a decade. For some reason, nobody else seems to have discovered this.
And that marks the end of my summer break. Follow the Triweekly to see me tackle some REAL mysteries.
BEST OF JUNE 2023:
Cheers everyone, and welcome back to another of the Best Movies movies movies movies on Newgrounds Newgrounds Newgrounds. This time, I'm going through every single frontpaged movie of June 2023.
Animators Reviewed: @Nihaho, @SockDotClip, @scottwjsm, @HoboGuyCool, @grubbb @Koibs @Izzi8bit @PringusMcDingus @NK64 @KokoroHatsaru @Ennuikal @crazytree @reyamily @not160cm @PaNDaPowerRULEZ @FlamingPiickle @Temorinki @brooskee @LazyMuffin @waldomileswide @Fezhoof @Ditchu @ittox @Crae @JamsAnimates @ittox @chewgumseries @aap @topcatyo @Andyl4nd @DongffTK @Kajenx @Magibauble
Animators Not Reviewed (but will be reviewed later): @KimiOmega @dootdoote @Jremby @Warlord-of-Noodles @Gameghoul @Piconjo @TheMagmaMuncher @Broly @Zeddyzi @Tenzalt @PFINNEY @brerbo @Sillyincorporated @Saywanay @Xandrecos @DirkErik-Schulz @AlternateBazaarArt
This is the 6th episode of an ongoing series, and in hindsight, it may been a good idea to watch the previous 5 beforehand. For any reviewer, please do exactly that:
Onto the review. Mild spoilers ahead.
The plot is simple: Fugger and Lars go to Isaiah's birthday party. They're the only 2 that show up, it's a mess, they find something under his bed, then leave.
The whole episode revolves around Isaiah, who thoughout the movie, the Bridge Kids learn how much of a creep he is just by looking around in his bedroom. However, we don't actually get to see what was under his bed. Some speculate that it's a corpse, others it's futa hentai. Who knows?
The animation is good, though somewhat limited. The pilot was made in 48 hours and runs for 2 minutes, yet subsequent episodes go for up to 10-min, so it's understandable (this is 9-min). Sometimes a background is very detailed, but sometimes the camera zooms in so you can see its flaws more easily, such as with the bones in the jar.
There's just a little bit of sound work, In addition to character dialogue, we hear individual footsteps, paper crinkling, etc, but no music. Feels more real that way. If you were blind, you'd be stumped that this is actually an animated series and not a live-action sitcom. assuming the lack of a laughtrack didn't give it away.
The humor is mildly predictable, however unlike those crappy animated sitcoms that try to rip off Family Guy, this one has heart and soul into it, which completely negates all of its flaws.
Overall, we don't see that many independent shows on NG that attempt TV-level writing and characters and still have time to fit in proper animation. Its an excellent filler series whenever Sublo and Tangy Mustard is taking too long.
Advertised as a '"totally legit" scrapped cutscene from fnf whitty definitive edition', this 10-sec short has a character ask Boyfriend from FNF to take that stupid hat off, like in the title. Get it?
Overall, pretty low-effort compared to previous works. There's no background.
Suggestion: Show what's actually under that hat. Use this clip.
This is a Pokemon-themed collab featuring a wide range of skits from your favourite creators such as @Butzbo, @mattyburrito, @Xandrecos, and @CootieGirl. Also, Iono is voiced by a dude.
I liked the skit where Red cheats to evolve Pikachu into Raichu, then into a 4th(3rd) stage evolution, based on the scrapped Gorochu Pokemon (idk if it's real), as well as the skit with Smiling Friends in it.
Grimace Shake McDonald's ad 2023 real
If you've been paying attention to meme culture, you'll know that if you drink a Grimace Shake, you die. This is only the most logical conclusion, that Grimace would finally pay the price for his actions. How the shakes are actually made though, we'll have to wait until next month.
On another note, Chuck Norris drank a Grimace Shake, then after 2 days of excrutiating pain, Grimace died.
Amazing art style + character design. Has that Jet Set Radio aesthetic mixed in with low-poly
WHY HAVEN'T YOU MADE A FULL ANIMATION PILOT YET?
Draggin' BallZ (Dragon Ball Z Parody)
You don't need to watch Dragon Ball Z to understand how ridiculous this movie is. If your definition of "humor" is random screams out of nowhere, you like Taco Bell, or you like how Krillin's eyes look like anuses, then this movie is for you.
Only criticism: the "Thanks for Watching!" end card goes for way longer than it needs to.
This is an 8-bit Mega Man sprite movie parody, however unlike those talentless hacks who flooded the Portal in the mid 2000s, Izzi draws her own sprites.
This movie mainly parodies Elon Musk's companies, primarily Tesla, and their self-driving Autopilot cars that crashed. as seen on the news. Whether you like Musk or not, this is worth a watch.
If you've seen the latest Nintendo Direct, you would've heard that Nintendo announced a new 2D Mario game titled Super Mario Bros: Wonder.
Let's get the elephant out of the room first. There's a power-up, that turns Mario, into an elephant. And the whole point of this movie is that Princess Peach almost touches said power-up, only for Princess Daisy to come out of nowhere to burn it up. For some reason, the author has a Daisy fetish, so shoehorn her into anything they make.
Castle Crashers OVA 3-A Freeze Resurection
I literally have no idea how Kokoro manages to release such long animations is such little time.
The first OVA (which I reviewed when it came out) was 12 minutes long and took 2 weeks to animate, and another 2-ish weeks to write. This one's 21 minutes. If I go too deep in anything at this length, it becomes spoiler territory, so I won't be covering the story.
The animation, though very simple, is very neat. The whole "retro anime" look is captured just as well as the first two.
Voices, better. You got legends like @VoicesByCorey. I do not speak Japanese, or any language other than English, so I can't comment if it's authentic or not.
After what feels like 5 minutes of intro (actually 24 seconds), I get treated to what seems like the best 1v3 brawl I've ever seen. JJ, the main character gets his boombox stolen, his ass kicked, and now he has to kick their asses to get it back.
Animation is very smooth and fluid, though the enemy Cyclops look like Sr. Pelo characters (the modern iteration that can actually draw, as seen on NG)
Overall, a solid 10/10 any day.
10 second loop of a girl running. Then two more people show up and run alongside her. It's a great animation, but nothing else to it. It's only teasing us for something longer and more stunning.
Did you know that Pikmin 4 is finally coming out? This cute little music video will tide you over for at least 12 more hours before it finally comes out.
That and I didn't realize that the author came back to Newgrounds after 10 years.
Cute OC kicks a guy to death. Though it's short, and well-animated, it seems to ask more questions than it answers.
Who is that grey guy getting his ass kicked? Why is she attacking him? What did he do to get himself into this situation? We will never know.
It's about a boy who's scared to skate down a bowl. This is one of those films you can't just skip every 5 seconds until something happens. You need to watch it from start to finish, like an adult.
I'm sure the fish bowl on his head, which literally phases through his neck, represents something.
My only criticism: very mild audio mixing. Can't wait to see you post more stuff here!
Another well-animated student thesis film. I think the octopus's voice is overpowered in the right ear, sometimes it isn't.
Feels like a trailer for a much bigger film.
IDK what that fish evolved in, but those swooshing backgrounds always get me.
Noisette café expresso - Pizzaboy guy
I still do not understand everything going on with Pizza Tower at the moment, so I can't comment much about this.
The animation is simple, and it gave me mild chuckles, particularly because of the voices. In other words, it passes the age-old video game parody test put in place by the diehard NG edgelords of 2006.
Never bring a gun to a card fight. Each frame is clean and fluid, like a cartoon show on TV.
a healthy way to start your day (musical)
Oldskool Review Bot #200 sez: great song, great meta humor.
ChatGPT sez: *snap*
This is the fabled One Piece Collab we've all been hearing about.
As with any collab, many of the parts are well-made, but it's a little short for a collab.
Crab drinks beer. I don't see how monkeys have anything to do with this. Still a great short film.
10 seconds. IDK why this is here.
It's a Pacman.
Here's a protip: LiveLeak shut down in 2021. This Spiderverse film (the 2nd one) came out in 2023. Your target audience should not have been able to get the joke. Maybe it still exists in another universe, but this is the universe where it exists only in our hearts.
Mr Beast Finally Meets Saitama
I personally don't like that weird "anime" style you used. It's definitely Beast's eyes that are a little off-putting. You are otherwise very skilled at drawing human characters.
It's cheese.
CHEW GUM | "TORTOISE AND THE HARE"
TBA
The second proper film from aap. I liked PIG better
A skit about Bowser coming out as the B in LGBTQ+ Same deal as the Mega Man /Elon Musk animation, only with twice the bits.
The SHOCKING TRUTH About Korok Seeds
Don't ever confuse topcatyo with Foxcato. They've both originally associated with the Clock Crew, they're both great animators in their own right. This one's working on a small YouTube channel called Drawbomb (alongside another old Clock) that does skits, podcasts, that sort, produced using PNGTuber software.
Drawbomb as a whole is pretty underrated and worth checking out.
The character's head + body stick to the same part of the screen throughout each shot. I think there's a trope associated with this, but I can't name it. Works on bigger music videos too.
Oldskool Review Bot #200 sez: great song, great meta humor.
ChatGPT sez: happy birthday.
Usually, GTA and especially GTA San Andreas, is never not funny. Then you add a dog....
William and Sly Teaser Trailer
This is the third entry of a series of games dating back to 2009 with a sequel in 2011. Now it's in 3D, like every other video game franchise, and it looks great and seems to play great. You won't know until you play it.
Since this is a trailer, I wouldn't rank this alongside the other entries or put it in a top 10 list, Just go wishlist the game on Steam.
It's a parody of Chainsaw Man. Haven't seen it, cannot comment. I will still say kudos to the team for keeping the 2012 Egoraptor / Spazkid branch open to new directions.
Kirby Guardian Ep8: Reincarnation (Part3)
Barely halfway through and I already feel tired. For the Best of June 2022, just check @FuturecopLGF's post.
Part 2 coming soon.
CALENDAR
News of the past, present, and future.
PAID PROMOTION: You thought the regular calendar was flooded with collabs? The Audio Portal's gonna get 30 of them this year. Join this server to take part in any one of them: https://discord.gg/24MV4GNm
July 19th: We discovered 69 degr33s of Piconjo almost a y33r b4. And we explan3d how s0em of these degr33s w0rk.
July 26th: I finish the rest of those movie reviews.
August 2nd: The only day where you're legally allowed to vote 2.5 out of 5 without getting judged.
August 4th: "Take a Break from Newgrounds" Day.
Tankman Triweekly is not a person. What would be our official title "of the Portal"?
[PREVIOUS ISSUE] [NEXT ISSUE | SUPPORT NEWGROUNDS]
olskoo
yeah I posted that bug on submissions with a <deleted> author where another person was assigned credit later on and then not being able to react in the bugs thread so there's probably a ticket