NO: 37: What Number Am I On?

"What's the meaning of [Everything by Everyone] if we're not gonna allow Machinimas?"

@Newgrounds

LETTER FROM THE EDITOR:

Hi Newgrounds. Just a heads up, I'm not as active over here as I'd like to be, as you'll later find out.

Cleetus McBill Sr.

TALENTLESS ANIMATOR BRIBES TOM FULP $6 TO PUT SHITTY MADNESS MOVIE ON FRONT PAGE

MS Paint enthusiast @Anonymous-Frog has paid $6 to put their cartoon MADNESS: Operation X on the frontpage of Newgrounds.

Frog, who joined Newgrounds in 2020 and started posting 10 minute shitposts, created a 4 minute shitpost last week, specifically to capitalize on Elon Musk, the owner and former CEO of X, formerly known as Twitter, as well as to cash in on the overwhelmingly popular Madness Combat series.

Furthermore, a leaked screenshot reveals that the relatively new, yet still fairly well-known NG user had reportedly paid two $3 transactions according to DMs to @TomFulp. Experts believe this was an attempt at bribery, with the motive of gaining a larger following without putting in the work to become a better animator.

The screenshot: Source: Unknown

Operation X currently sits at a score of 4.3 stars out of 5, a trope commonly shared amongst hacks such as illwillpress. It also won Daily 2nd.

RE: RESTRAINING ORDER

September 20th 2023: 1:06 AM

Dear Mr. Dr. Judge Whatever the fuck your name is, or anyone else in the Supreme Court reading this.

I would like to file a restraining order against that Mr. Johnny Guy sir!, for he is a real sick twisted muthafuckr!

I read the allegations, It's real serious shit. Grooming a 15 year old and sending them dick pics is WAY worse than all the filth I've been through

I may be a fat, bald, 65 year old farmer man. I may have shoveled horse-shit for 30 years. I cross-breed chickens with my own DNA, but this I will NOT stand for.

People like Johnny deserve to be put on a farm. Not my farm. In fact, In fact, I don't want Johnny within 200 miles of my lil' young-uns Cleetus McBill Jr, and Cleetus McBill III (who mind you, belong to the same mother, despite the stereotypes).

You've pissed me off for SO GODDAMN LONG, you were, and have always been slimy and deceitful little fucker who only wants my bloody attention and it's about DAMN TIME that I can legally take matters into my own hands!

Signed, for the last time:

Cleetus McBill Sr.

PS: In case someone else gets this letter by mistake, please PLEASE forward this letter to the Supreme Court of the United States of the U.S. of A, then write back to inform me that they ACTUALLY got the letter, Got that? I'll be damned if I miss the opportunity to testify against that goddamn Mr. Johnny Guy SIR in court!

PPS: Before anyone asks, the chickens I fuck have consented and are at a full maturity WITH an added 2 weeks on top for good measure. In fact, just getting chickens to consent on its own was difficult enough. They needed to know how to communicate, they needed to be intelligent enough to know they're not being taken advantage of, which of course means I had to boost their intelligence BEFORE breeding them. THEN once they're smarter than the average 25 year old, I had to convince them that my human-chicken hybrid idea will one day break up the biggest monopoly of all time, the human race, and I'm trying my best to be as honest and transparent about this process as possible.

So far...

-I'm now a vegetarian

-The only eggs I eat are the duds, and even then it's only for kinks.

-I've happily separated from my human wife of 20 years to live with my 3,000+ chickies in a new farm in Colorado. We still hang out occasionally and she even suggested I wear one of them red comb things in the bed.

--I treat my chickens as equal to humans as humanly (or chickenly) possible, and only entering relationships with a select lucky few.

One of these days, one of my chicken hybrids will live past 35 and become President. At least he (or she) would be better than Biden (or Trump, or whoever the fuck is running in 2024) and I will have actually achieved something positive for once!

PPPS: Don't leak the chicken project. Not because I'm ashamed or it's wrong or whatnot, but because I plan to officially reveal this shit to the press in 10 months time when my 2nd civilization has developed further, and I don't want to spoil the surprise.

Tankman Triweekly is 1 hour too early.