NO 15: Peter The Ant Day:
LETTER FROM THE EDITOR
Welcome back to Tankman Triweekly. Unfortunatly this will be the last issue for 2021. But please still follow because there will still be a healthy dose of issues in 2022.
TOP STORY: MOUSE-USERS PROTEST AGAINST TABLET GIVEAWAY
The Newgrounds mouse community have spoken out in protest against the annual tablet giveaways hosted by Newgrounds, gathering around Amazon's headquarters to prevent shipments.
Last year, over 50 tablets were given away to the Newgrounds community.
"Mouse drawn art is a dying breed. And every time a tablet is given away, that's one step closer to going on 'easy mode'.
Yeah, drawing with a mouse may be more difficult than using a tablet, but it has its charms"
"Thank God this is only an American problem."
"What's a tablet?"
It's gotten to the point where @TomFulp has been forced to step in.
"I know some people may be fed up with our tablet giveways, but I assure you that if you don't want a new tablet, don't join the giveaway, but it seems like that isn't satisfying anyone anymore. This is why we'll also be giving away 5 Logitech G G502 HERO gaming mice for anyone who wants those too, thanks to an anonymous $700 donation specifically for this request!"
As of December 26th the protest is still ongoing.
MUSICIAN AND MOTHER CAUGHT IN FRAUD ATTEMPT
Local woman Mary Cheney was found guilty over an attempt to claim her son Aden @acheney Cheney's life insurance. Mary had reported his death on November 15th, where it was reported that ACheney was last seen at his workplace before being run over in an apparent suicide attempt. A witness reported that "Cheney is dead!", but when officials were called over to carry out an autopsy, it was discovered that the body actually belonged to former Vice President Dick Cheney (no relation).
Aden will be attending therapy after the incident, of which he claims he had no involvement in.
CHRIS PRATT TO VOICE IN UPCOMING MADNESS COMBAT CARTOON
@Krinkels has confirmed that he got Chris Pratt to voice a surprise new character in Part 2 of Madness Combat 9.5. So far Pratt's performance has not been revealed, meaning the Madness community is very good at not leaking shit. Pratt himself confirmed this, having also stated on Twitter that he will not be voicing any existing protagonists like Hank or 2BDamned.
With MADNESS Project Nexus becoming a major success, receiving overwhelming positive reviews and heavily praised by its massive fanbase, it was to be expected for the creators to push the series beyond its limits and this celebrity cameo proves that.
@lightningcarp:
Lies
@Snackers:
Discrimination against amphibians.
@TheShadling
Never play Monopoly with this guy.
Today's featured audio is from @Shreddit, who has decided to take their attacks on Reddit from YouTube to Newgrounds. Thankfully you can still skip ahead to each post because the original YouTube videos are embedded.
CALENDAR:
January 9th:
Suicide rates go up while Adult Swim viewership rates go down.
February 14th:
The acquisition of FNF by CD Projekt Red expected to complete by this point.
April 30th:
Beefcaker Day.
Tankman Triweekly is the only newspaper that let you come to your own conclusions:
PATRONS:
$5 Tier
@thebulbmin @HawtDogull @Empkayin @JoeyTheMarillFan @EpithetSoup @Wegra @SUSSYBAGEL @ramdonperson @olskoo @Colizza @KingCringe
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$100 Tier
Shreddit
Thanks for the shout-out! Happy to be aboard